Twizzler is a candy which as far as I know comes in licorice and strawberry flavors. Recently, where I live here in Cincinnati, Ohio Twizzler has been re-running a 2019 commercial which really hits home for me. In the commercial the spouse is driving and the guy is off deep in thought. Finally she asks him what is he thinking about. As he eats a Twizzler, he wonders if it is all right at his age to start skate boarding.
During a vacation my wife and I took one year, the same thing happened to me. The only difference was I had a much more serious problem to ponder. Could I ever become a transgender woman. My life at the time was in very good shape. My wife and I loved each other deeply and my job was riding a pinnacle of success. Yet, here I was lost in thought pondering my future.
Perhaps the worst part about the whole thing was I don’t remember telling my wife what was really bothering me. I was still trying to out run my gender dysphoria which was slowly but surely tearing me apart.
Sadly, my thoughts ruined much of the fun of the vacation. Maybe a Twizzler would have help
I am going to attempt to pull a few relevant posts from the Cyrsti’s Condo archives to use while I am on vacation later on this week for approximately ten days.
As I look back through the old posts, I realize how much I have changed in certain areas. This happened several years ago:
“Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.
Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.
I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn’t have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.
I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn’t quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.
Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.
Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way…as always.
I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!”
These days, I have so much more confidence in myself. I wouldn’t care what they thought!
It’s finally here, the day before we depart on vacation. Now, the fun starts. I am doing a final load of clothes, so I will have what I hope is a good selection of clothes to take. Of course, now, outfits are just the beginning of my packing needs.
I have a separate small bag I will take for my make up. Fortunately, thanks in a great part to changes in my skin and face from HRT, my make up needs are a lot less. Plus, I want to attempt to blend in the best I can with the rest of the women on the tour, who usually are even older than me. So, the emphasis will be on simplicity with touches of emphasis on contour, eyes and lips. Nothing dramatic. So the make up and toiletry part of packing is just about ready.
Unfortunately, most of my packing will have to wait till the last moment when I pack my CPAP breathing machine. I plan on taking (depending upon room) four tops and three sets of different bottoms, including one set of leggings. We are only allowed one suitcase, so that is going to have to make it.
Of course in the middle of a day when we have to go the ATM for a little bit of cash and to the store for a few forgotten necessities, we have a social to go to tonight. It’s the one which was moved from a small local restaurant/bar to a big corporate one. I can understand the reason…the small venue always wanted to close about an hour after we all got there. On the other hand though, it provided a low key non threatening place for novice cross dressers or transgender women to come to. The bigger place just doesn’t offer any of that. We will see what happens with attendance.
While I am gone, I have tried to file an archive post to go live approximately every two days. Hopefully, a dual purpose will be served, some sort of continuity when I am gone. Plus a much needed blog vacation for me.
I read lots of books, from mythology retellings to literary fiction and I love to reread books from childhood, this is a place to voice my thoughts for fun. I also like to ramble about things such as art or nature every now and again.