Vacay Post Three

This is a Cyrsti’s Condo post from 2015. It is a very weak attempt to explain a few of my early changes when I restarted hormone replacement therapy:

“More great news yesterday! My estrogen was found not to be the basis of my liver problems this summer…and I am allowed to resume my dosage ASAP. 


Estrogen is like a snowflake, for the most part  the hormone effects each trans person different. 


Yes there is the breast development-which is tied in with your feminine family genetics and normally never up to the expectations of the person on HRT. (Many cis women aren’t satisfied with their breasts, so we are in good company.)


Yes there is the emotional aspect-which I think is the biggest part. You do get “weepy”and experience “hot flashes” -which are different animals unto themselves. As close as I can come explaining one is during my first one, I thought I was internally combusting!


The part of Estrogen effects (so far) I have never been able to explain to anyone (man or woman) is how my world softened internally. Somehow I was more perceptive to the world around me. Cis men don’t experience it and cis women are born with it-so they don’t understand. That’s OK!


Finally, I look forward to a couple exterior changes. My hair will thicken again and my skin will soften-bringing out curves.


Poor Liz (my partner) she gets to live through another MtF gender puberty of sorts. She wasn’t around for my first. She was with me as I started HRT the first time and a form of transgender menopause when I stopped. 


And now, here we go again!!! YAY!!!”

Four years later and it’s way past time to write an update to this post. I will when I start to go “live” again with my posts next week.

Vacay Post Two

This my my attempt at a humorous look at my early days of DIY hair coloring from 2015:

 “Finally, a couple nights ago, I broke down and colored by hair-basically by myself. I will explain.

“Basically” means I only made a mess with the color base in a couple spots, like the bathroom door and sink. If you have ever worked with hair color, it will stain almost anything and get you (me) hollered at. No pressure? Plus I sort of figured if I screwed up bad enough, Liz would help. I didn’t and neither did she.

Lets back track a bit to where I got to this place. Looking back years ago to when I put my wigs aside and began attempting to style my own hair. Very simply, I called this the first time in my life I had to see the back of my head and brush out my hair. A “Pink Floyd” song? “The Dark Side of the Head?” Seriously, being able to experience the thrill of having/wearing my own hair has been worth the hassle. Having said that, if you are a transgender woman of means- you can afford the monthly trip to your hairdresser and is flat out wonderful.

I can’t afford the luxury though so I had to enter the DIY hair color biz. From the school of hard hair mistakes-here are a few of mine:

  1. Read the instructions…don’t be a guy…read the instructions.
  2. When those mean old instructions tell you to “PUT ON THE GLOVES”-do it.
  3. Save back a couple of old towels you don’t care if you color too for your removal process.
  4. BE CAREFUL and don’t get the color on walls, tile, cat, carpet etc. Get it on your noggin. 
  5. Make sure you color your roots completely. Or you will be like me and your gray hair will come back fast and look like a huge bald spot.
  6. Don’t worry about the color which gets on to your skin around your temples, DO worry about not coloring your temples. (hair)
  7. The rest is up to you and the color product you purchased. Mine calls for rinse, two shampoos, and a conditioner. 

So, there you go, but to me totally worth it and I felt positively terrible until I colored my hair. We all learn early as cross dressers or transgender women what hair means to us. Plus with Thanksgiving here, I didn’t want to go to the family with the way my hair looked.

I took my abuse for making a mess and feel quite satisfied with the job I did looks. The question is now how long more will I stick with my “Vibrant Violet” hair color.”

Fortunately now, I can have a professional help me.

Vacation Post One

I am going to attempt to pull a few relevant posts from the Cyrsti’s Condo archives to use while I am on vacation later on this week for approximately ten days.

As I look back through the old posts, I realize how much I have changed in certain areas. This happened several years ago:

“Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn’t have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn’t quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way…as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!”

These days, I have so much more confidence in myself. I wouldn’t care what they thought!

More Good Publicity

CAA has signed actor, model, writer and social activist Indya Moore. The transgender, non-binary, Haitian-Dominician and Puerto Rican actor is part of the groundbreaking, critically acclaimed FX series Pose co-created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Steven Canals, which is currently in its second season.

On the series, Moore plays Angel Evangelista and is part of the largest trans cast in the history of television which includes Mj Rodriguez, Dominque Jackson, Angelica Ross, Hailie Sahar alongside Billy Porter, Angel Bismark Curiel, Evan Peters, Kate Mara, James Van Der Beek, Ryan Jamaal Swain, Charlayne Woodard and Dyllón Burnside.

Indya Moore
Dominique Jackson

Moore has also appeared in campaigns for Louis Vuitton and Calvin Klein and has been featured in W, Vogue, Another, OUT, New York Magazine, and i-D. Earlier this year, they appeared on TIME Magazine’s “Most Influential People” list and they continued to blaze trails by becoming the first transgender person to grace the cover of ELLE Magazine and the first transgender person to keynote the 2019 Essence Festival.

In addition to their work on TV, Moore has appeared in campaigns for Louis Vuitton and Calvin Klein and has been featured in W, Vogue, Another, OUT, New York Magazine, and i-D. Earlier this year, they appeared on TIME Magazine’s “Most Influential People” list and they continued to blaze trails by becoming the first transgender person to grace the cover of ELLE Magazine and the first transgender person to keynote the 2019 Essence Festival.

Noggin Check

Once again it is time to make the journey to see my long time therapist. Normally (no pun intended) there is not much exciting to write about. Seemingly we always take the same pre-mandated tests and she always asks the same questions. All of it is good I guess because no news is good news.

My point is, even though I haven’t needed my therapist’s help for literally years now, since I changed over my gender markers and needed her assistance in starting hormone replacement therapy.

Plus, since Ohio is switching over to the new national driver’s license identification cards. I was thinking I might need some sort of letter to help it along. Or, I may need to get a pass port and need some sort of a letter for that. I have over a year to iron out the final details, so I have plenty of time.

I am a firm believer in “never say never”, so I never know when I will have to ask for her help again. Perhaps when and if Ohio approves gender changes on birth certificates..

Being a transgender person, I know it is the “gift” which keeps on giving.

Happy Ending

I had another chat with the support group moderator (Transgender-Cross dresser) concerning her infatuation with supporting the anti LGBTQ Chick -fil -a. In fact, I tagged her on Facebook  with yet another story of how the chicken joint’s head guy called their stand against us a “higher calling.”

She fired back at me how she considered herself a “proud transgender woman” and was breaking down barriers when she ate there. I told her again how backwards that was and the only barrier she was breaking down was the company’s lower profit margin.

Surprisingly, she agreed with me and said she wouldn’t eat there anymore! Good for her. If she is true to her word, at least I did my part to impact the bottom line of another anti LGBTQ company. Liz used to go to Hobby Lobby for some of her craft needs until we learned of their right wing evangelical leanings. Every little bit helps!

I may have to consider another coffee place after this rant from Connie:

“Not much risk involved by giving your money to someone who only likes your money. If she thinks she’s being an activist, I would call her a “Chicken Activist.” 🙂 I won’t even patronize Seattle’s own Starbucks because Schultz sold our Super Sonics to Oklahoma – plus, I don’t really like burnt coffee at high prices. Schultz likes to burn coffee and basketball fans, I guess. He will allow trans people to use the restrooms, but you might have to wait until the heroin addict is through shooting up in there. But, hey, nobody’s perfect, whether they be a CEO, a moderator, a trans person, or a drug addict. ;-)”

The problem I have is there aren’t very many “neighborhood” coffee shops near me to patronize. I need to find out where “Mad Llama Coffee” is to see if it is close enough to go to. I had their coffee and a couple pastries a week or so ago at a farmer’s market and loved it.


As far as the sports go, as many of you know, we have our own problems here in Cincinnati. 

Another Night Out

Last night we went again to the usual upscale Italian restaurant we normally go to…perhaps for the last time. No, nothing out of the ordinary happened. The obnoxious cross dresser was there along with Liz, myself and a recovering older person who needed assistance So we  were able to stop and give her a ride. She is recovering from a fairly serious foot operation. 

It was interesting in that we had a chance to really talk to her by herself. She was talking about how long it took to establish a feminine life and how she didn’t really want to be seen with anyone closer to home who could tie her back in with her old masculine life. She has established herself as a new member greeter in her church. Plus, she is a board member of the “Rosie Reds” a women’s auxiliary of the professional baseball Cincinnati Reds. At the age of eighty, she has established herself as everyone’s grandma. 

As we talked, I had a chance to insert how bored I was with going to the same place all the time, not to mention how tired I am with the same old bullshit from the obnoxious cross dresser. 

Due to our upcoming vacation, plus a ghost tour we are going on, I won’t have to worry about seeing him for at least a month. 

Unfortunately, that isn’t quite true because this Thursday we are going to another social the night before we leave for Colorado (from Ohio).  The cross dresser nearly always comes but there are plenty of other transgender peeps to interact with.  It should be interesting this week because the venue is being moved from a local small independent restaurant who didn’t want to stay open past nine for us, to a large corporate restaurant/bar.  As a former restaurant manager myself, I am sorry to see us move. On the other hand I understand. 

I am sure I will have plenty of other chances to write about it later.

Sarah McBride

From Washington (CNN)”Transgender activist Sarah McBride announced Tuesday that she’s running for a Senate seat in her home state of Delaware.

Sarah McBride

McBride, 28, would become the first transgender person elected to a state senate if chosen to represent Delaware’s 1st District. McBride made waves at the Democratic National Convention in 2016 as the first transgender person to speak at a major party convention.

McBride said that her campaign won’t center on her identity, but instead hinge on expanding affordable health care and reforming the state’s criminal justice system.

“A lot of people know me because of my advocacy in the LGBTQ community, but I want to be clear that that has not been my most formative experience,” McBride told CNN on Tuesday.

McBride said the experience of caring for her late husband through a battle with cancer shaped her focus on health care, particularly her charge to increase access to paid family medical leave.

“I don’t want anyone to go through that experience, but I also know that thousands of people are going through it every day,” McBride said.”

Good luck Sarah!

Busy Day!

Yesterday turned out to be a much busier day than I expected. In fact, it turned out to one of those “Army” style days when you hurry up and wait much of the day.

The morning started with an always exciting trip to the DMV to get new tags for our new car. Well, it’s new to us! I didn’t think I would be needed, so I grabbed a seat to wait for Liz to wind her way through an insanely long line to get to a clerk. It turned out since my name was on the title too, I had to step up and be part of the process. All went well until the clerk asked how we described our relationship for the record. I said “Partner.” She glared at me and said “How long?” I glared back and said eight years and she seemed satisfied and went on to the next question. After an eternity, the whole fun filled process was over.

Next was Liz’s eye appointment. The only thing I can say, the place was air conditioned and had comfortable chairs. Soon we left and headed to one of the close neighborhood specialty food stores to look for produce. After squeezing the mango’s it was past time to head to the pharmacy because they close every day for a lunch break between 1:30 and two. Liz was offered some sort of a discount card for her prescription. That was the good news, the bad news was she had to call a number to get it. Of course by that time, the lunch break was upon us and we ended waiting the extra half hour to try to get the prescription filled. It all turned out to be for naught because the phone lines were closed till Monday.

All of the fooling around made us late for our next appointment.  We were supposed to pick up a friend and be at a restored Cincinnati church which has been made into a craft brewery and event center. We were checking it out for perhaps holding a future Witches Ball there. Also we were supposed to meet the disc jockey we were thinking of using this year. By the time we got there, we were a half hour late. Personally, I loved the place. It brought back fond memories of escaping a hot humid day in a cold bar drinking cold beer and relaxing. Although the meeting itself made it hard to relax, I was treated like any other person in the place.

The disc jockey was a trip. We as a group got some push back for using him because supposedly he was a neo nazi in his past. So, we wanted to meet him naturally, to hear his side of the story. Interestingly, Liz said if he avoids me, maybe he is a Nazi. Because they would be more apt to steer clear of a transgender person.

To make a long story short, I don’t think he is or was a Nazi and someone is just out to get to us through him. It’s sad because all the money raised goes to charity (homeless shelter) and we don’t make anything for what essentially is huge pain in the rear. I keep thinking this will be the last year.

After taking our friend home, we finally were able to stop at an Aldi Food Store and do some light shopping for a late dinner.

After all of that, we ran out of time and the day came to an end. Thank goodness.

Lesson learned? If and when you get a chance to live a full life as a transgender woman…never look back!

Passing?

I saw a post somewhere the other day about the importance of a person’s “passing privilege.” 

First of all, I am not a big fan of the passing comment at all and always like to refer back to Stana’s Femulate comment referring to how she always passed with care, by using her horn, flashing her lights etc. 

As far as I am concerned, I go back to what a transgender woman friend told me years ago. She said, I passed out of sheer will power. So many years later, I still do. 

I was never blessed with being a “natural.” It took me a long time to realize the compliment “You make a great looking woman,” was missing the rest of the comment…for a man. Evan though I grew up desperately wanting to be a girl, I lived in a male dominated world and had precious little time to express my “feminine side.”

My real inclusion into having any passing privilege at all came after I made the decision to go on HRT. All the good things happened like hair, breasts, soft skin and a rounder face. However, I do believe sometime in the future I will get a health pay back in return for messing around with my body’s hormonal basic’s.

In the mean time though, I will continue to put my best feminine foot forward to the world the best I can. Out of sheer will power.

Hopefully I won’t wear my horn out when I get the chance to pass.