Weekend Fun?

Or, things to do while I happen to be transgender. Mentally, I don’t make the separation much anymore. To me, I am just me, presenting feminine after so many years in gender hell. On occasion though, I will pause and look back on what a long strange trip it has been. I even considered posting my one and only “before” picture with this post but I won’t since it causes me to remember back to so many painful days.

At any rate, we are supposed to have a good Spring weather weekend around here for a change, so it’s time to dig through my wardrobe and pull out a few suitable outfits.

Friday night is the monthly dinner and music social with the cross dressers – transgender group I am a part of. I will have to check the weather but I might be able to get away with just a light sweater with jeans or leggings. I have a powder blue sweater Liz gave me that goes great with leggings and actuates my figure. I may have to break down and wear a bra with it though because it gets a bit “nipply” if you look at me from the wrong angle. I just don’t like to wear bras, preferring a more “natural” feel. The lighting where we go is normally low, so I should be able to wear the outfit without a jacket and do fine.

Saturday (as always} is errand day. We start with Liz’s martial arts class where she just became a recommended black belt and then go to the grocery store. This week though, we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Committee, which should be interesting because the head person quit in protest. So everyone will have to step up and take more responsibility. So far, my deal is being in charge of our Cincinnati Pride table. Not too bad.

Finally Sunday, we hope to get a head start on the yard and work outside. Boring but needed activity.

The Endocrinologist and the Sugar Daddy

My trip to the endocrinologist was certainly uneventful, until I met my sugar daddy afterwards. My Doc was OK with my request to increase my estrodial and perhaps decrease my testosterone. As we talked, I said I was satisfied where I was with my feminization process but then again feel like I hit a wall. So, her (the Doc’s) answer was maybe my testosterone was creeping up again and let’s get it checked. So, off I went to get the proper blood labs done.

I knew my day was going too good when the 75 mile trip up to the medical center was very easy for a change, I found a parking spot and the wait was minimal. By this time, it was past noon and I hoped the wait at the blood labs would be minimal too…wrong, the room was packed, standing room only almost for a seat. I settled in to lose an hour of my life I would never get back.

Straw Hat

As I sat there, a short time later, an older gentleman, well dressed with a straw hat sat down across the room. I didn’t give him much thought except you don’t see many guys at the VA who bother to dress up at all.

Approximately fifteen minutes later, he got up to go to the restroom and lost his seat. He then ended up sitting across from me. He was busily talking to a couple of other guys about the March Madness basketball games and was leaving me alone, for awhile. Then he said “Mam” what branch of the service did I serve in? I told him the Army and the chat was on. I found out he served in the Army in the mid 60’s in Panama, was 75, retired but still flipped houses for a living.

By that time, he had decided to quit talking to the other guys and turn his attention to me and all the time used the proper pronouns so I felt secure in the conversation.  I had to be careful though not to out myself.

If I mentioned at all I was drafted, that would do it. Of course women weren’t drafted into the service. On the fly I needed to make up a story about how I got into the military, or slightly twist the facts. Or shut up. I chose the latter but on the way home came up with a more palatable way of explaining what I did in the military.

To start with, some of you Cyrsti’s Condo regulars know, I was assigned to the American Forces Radio and Television Service (AFRTS). So, I actually worked for the Air Force for one year and the Army for two years. So, I could say I was almost a contract worker for the military. At least it may work in a pinch when I get into an in depth conversation with someone who I don’t want to automatically out myself with.

I must be getting dramatically better with my over all transgender presentation though. This makes the second time in a row other men have called me by the right pronouns and wanted to talk while I was waiting to give blood. Years ago, I was called a “fagg–t” in the same room.

Times do change, and if my blood comes back the right way, maybe I can change it a little bit faster.

What is Visibility?

Since it is our local Cincinnati Transgender Day of Visibility, perhaps it’s time to discuss what visibility really means.

Many would consider me to be really visible since I live full time as a trans woman. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. When and if I am successful in blending in seamlessly as a woman in society, I am not visible at all. Then, at other times I am in and out of another person’s reality so quickly, I am barely visible to them either. Maybe later they think there maybe have been something a little off kilter with their encounter with me. By that time though, I am long gone from their reality.

How about you though? Can you be visible and still be in your closet? Sure you can. Maybe you bide your time and support silently pro LGBTQ political candidates and laws. Who knows when you will need them? Plus, what about the gender fluid kids who are new in the system, they need our help.

Finally, is the church you go to anti gay and transgender or do you still support businesses such as Chick – Fil – A or Hobby Lobby who are actively involved in erasing our very existence.

You see, there is plenty to do to stay visible even though you may not be in the public’s eye

Endo Appointment

My endocrinologist appointment is coming up on Monday after Sunday’s Transgender Day of Visibility.

Hopefully, I am not expecting a whole lot of drama. I think I might ask to have my estrodial increased a little bit which I don’t think she (the nurse practitioner) will do until she sees a new set of blood labs. But I will still try.

I have written before how I think I have pretty much “hit the wall” with my feminization process.  I believe too, with the time I have been on HRT (approx. five years) I could have reached my maximum expectations as far as feminization goes.

It’s my personality though to keep asking for more. Primarily in my hips. I also think my overall body hair has made a slight rebound which of course I don’t want.

HRT

Actually, I am just whining and I think this is all coming along according to plan and I know too the whole process can take up to seven years. I know also, much is dependent on me to lose a few pounds again before summer to give me a better overall figure in a couple of my fave form fitting maxi dresses.

I will let you know how it all goes.

Are Females Women?

This Cyrsti’s Condo post was actually from 2013 but I thought it was still relevant today:

Recently on one of the thousand of television shows I watch, I heard the comment “She’s a female but that doesn’t make her a woman” Unless I was missing something, a genetic woman said it. So true it is.

Since that time, I have been bouncing around the idea of another post in my noggin called “Are Genetic Women Human Too?”

Let’s see if I can toss them both into the Cyrsti’s Condo kitchen blender and see if anything good comes out.

The last time I looked both genders are human!  I knew all that college biology I almost flunked would come back to help me! YAY!  OK, back to the blender. Females aren’t necessarily women but yes they are still human. Now, lets toss in some spices from our culture. Both are fairly rare, so we may have to use a lot!

The first spice is a little gritty and comes from the base of a pedestal.  As I jump around the never never land of the Internet, I still am dazzled by the sisters in my culture who hoist females up on a pedestal for worship purposes. Certainly females are the “keepers of the flame” currently in our race because of their birthing ability. Past that kids, the days of wives in suburbia living fairy tale lives are gone and females are out in the world competing hard to make it.  But if want to put them in your bubble bath world- that’s cool.  This is a large pedestal so the little bit of it we use won’t affect it’s stability.

The second spice is also so very rare and maybe a little sweet if you find it. The spice is the very mystical “if I could find a woman to show me “the ropes” of a feminine existence, I could shortcut the real learning process, and get to the “promised land.”

As you could tell, I may be a tad jaded in my assessment of the spices needed so I’m going to add an extra helping of chocolate to flavor our drink.

Now, unless you are as scattered as I am, you need a bit of translation. Very simply female is a birth issue, woman is a lifestyle choice.  The same as being born male but your transgender noggin is screaming NO! Secondly, females or women do come from another planet than men but it is not the pink warm and fuzzy world you put up on a pedestal and proclaim undying loyalty to. And finally, there are a few of the magical mystery women willing to take you to the other side. You may live with one and bless her heart! Unfortunately from my perch here in the “web-o-sphere” the spousal response I hear most about is “Take your dresses and the next sound you will hear will be from my divorce lawyer.”

So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your beverage.  On occasion I try to “bundle” several thoughts and tie them in with feedback I get here in Cyrsti’s Condo and a couple other places I participate in.  The final parting thought I can leave you with is: the next time you are out and feeling really insecure about yourself as a woman-take heart, there could be plenty of females around you feeling the same about themselves.

Now have some class and quit making noise sucking on that straw!

How Quiet Can it Be?

I am looking ahead to another fairly quiet weekend. Except for Sunday.

This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.

 As I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.

Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.

What a shame! 🙂

Don’t be a Heroine

No matter how you figure it, just being a woman and losing your male privilege can bring possible safety problems. I have written a number of times here in Cyrsti’s Condo about potential problems I ran (or walked) into as I began to transgender into a more feminine lifestyle. Very quickly, I was corned at a party by huge admirer and had to be bailed out by my deceased wife. The other happened late at night on an urban downtown sidewalk in front of a gay venue. Both were really ill advised but I managed to escape unscathed with a new admiration for what women go through. I hitched up my big girl panties and always asked for help in getting to my car.

How this post came about though mainly comes from my group’s moderator calling a bigoted hater an ass when he called her an “it” and a freak. This all came in a bar and very easily could have resulted in creased violence to her (the moderator).  Finally, it all finished up with him being arrested and being barred from the pub. She was lucky and the band even stopped briefly to see if she was alright.

Another person with a background in entertaining the public in a band in bars is Connie. Here is one of her experiences which came in reference to my post “Back in the Day.”

“Speaking of “back in the day,” I remember one time (mid-seventies) when I observed a disagreement – turned knife fight – in a bar, as I was playing music on the stage. We didn’t stop playing, though, even as the EMTs came in to care for the guy lying in a pool of blood. Like with the band on the sinking Titanic, we were urged, by the manager, to keep playing – as if everything were normal. We learned, later, that the stabbing victim had been pronounced DOA. This whole event has been etched into my mind, and, although I keep it in the back, I know that it has come to the front every time I have had to deal with some jerk who has a problem with my gender status. I would never take it for granted that anyone else would step up or step in to protect me, so I do my best to keep negative confrontations from escalating. I want to ensure that my music keep going, after all”.

Self preservation should always be our goal! I know in my case, HRT has taken a toll on my old body anyhow and I better be able to get out of situations with my wits not my brawn. Which any woman learns at a young age anyhow.

As I said earlier, I was fortunate to learn it all tje relatively easy way!