Transgender Information

Nina Humphrey from the “Credit Card. Com” website managed to navigate the confusing process of choosing between my two names and emails to reach me.

The problem is years ago when I completed my legal name change, I added another email with that name. With the time and effort I had spent over the years to build the Cyrsti’s Condo transgender blog, I didn’t want to start all over again. So on occasion, I encounter confusion when people try to reach me on the other email. An example was when I was accepted into the Trans Journalist Association. Emma needed to reach out on both emails to confirm my identity.  FYI, I am really excited to be part of the Association! 

Now, back to Nina. Here is part of what she wrote and a link to go to for more information:

We understand transgender individuals can transition without surgery or medical procedures by changing their clothing, pronouns, name and gender presentation. But money can often be a barrier for transgender folks, and getting accurate information about the costs of transitioning can be a hurdle in and of itself. 

For those who do wish to get surgery, the costs vary significantly depending on details like insurance coverage and location. We created a guide to help transgender Americans by providing expert advice on:

  • Gender reassignment procedures and average costs
  • How to budget for the costs of transitioning
  • Allyship to the transgender community

Here’s the link to our guide: 

https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/gender-reassigment-surgery-costs/

She also added:

“It’s important to us that the LGBTQ+ community has the protection and support it deserves. Which is why we want to do our part and share valuable information that benefits both the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. I recently came across your page and I wanted to share our resource which I thought would be a valuable addition to your page”

Most certainly, finances are always a major factor when considering major gender surgeries. Thanks Nina, for your information.

Un Masked

My Partner Liz, me, and trans friend Kathy

The transgender – cross dresser local group Liz and I are members of have decided to open the doors again to a rather aggressive social schedule. 

I think it is time to venture out if people have been vaccinated so I have no problem with doing it. 

Saturday is the first social get together in public, followed by an on line support group meeting on Monday and yet another public social next Thursday. 

With everyone being so tired of staying home for so long, more than likely all events will be well attended. 

The socials are a very good idea for experienced and novice transgender women of all kinds. Most importantly, the venues know we are coming and provide a safe space.  Very simply, it is a chance to get out in the public’s eye and try out fitting in in the feminine world. 

The best part is so far, everyone has not embarrassed the group by doing something decidedly ignorant. 

Even though we will not be attending Saturday nights social,  it’s a very good chance I will be at the other two. If you happen to be in the metro Cincinnati, Ohio area and need information, let me know. 

Billboard Material

Jari Jones is an actress, model, and LGBTQ+ advocate. Last year, she was one of nine models featured in an advertisement for Calvin Klein in New York City. The brand’s 2020 Pride campaign #PROUDINMYCALVINS, was a huge accomplishment. In an Instagram post she wrote, “It has been such an honor and pleasure to sit in my most authentic self and present imagery of a body that far to often has been demonized, harassed, made to feel ugly and unworthy and even killed.”

Summer Time

The area in and around Cincinnati, Ohio is well known for it’s historical connections in aiding runaway slaves during the Underground Railroad days preceding the Civil War.

In 2015, Liz and I toured the “Rankin House” near Ripley, Ohio east of Cincinnati when I was more mobile. The picture above was taken facing the Ohio River which flows downhill from the historic house. Known for it’s success in helping runaway slaves escape. 

Afterwards we crossed the Ohio on a small ferry boat and ate lunch in historic Augusta, Kentucky, the home of George Clooney. 

It was a relaxing day and one to remember because my transgender transition was still so new and scary as well as being exciting. The day went well, and no, we didn’t see George.  

Therapy Day

 Today was my virtual therapists visit. I have been very fortunate in that  I have been able to maintain my relationship with the same therapist over the years. After all, the Veteran’s Administration is known for turnover. My therapist initially was the same person who signed off on my beginning hormone replacement therapy and later provided me with the paperwork to complete changing my legal gender markers. 

Also, I make no secret to others that I am bi-polar and no, embarking on my often remarkable  transgender journey to change my life did not solve my overall depression and anxiety. With my therapist I was always able to explain one did not connect with the other and magically disappear.  Before I started my journey, I had experience with other therapists who kept trying to connect imaginary dots with me. So, during our sessions I am always very careful to compliment her for her help and input. 

Coming up next, next week is my appointment with my nurse practitioner who monitors all my meds and bloodwork. She is also very nice and does a great job…as long as my blood work comes back OK. 

Even though I have to make the lengthy drive north to the Dayton VA for my care, I rather do it for the continuity of care I receive. Rather than switch everything over to the local Cincinnati VA Hospital. 

Pride

Drag queens wearing red, orange, yellow and green are walking in the street at Montreal Pride.

 June is LGBTQ Pride Month. Of course (per norm) I watched the local morning news  and almost the first story I saw was promoting two of the local Pride activities coming up this weekend. This year, the biggest local event (Cincinnati) was again canceled due due pandemic considerations. Even still, the television station used old footage of drag queens’ in convertibles for the story. Which leads me to this:

One of my biggest problems with the various events is the number of drag queens which are featured. 

My dislike for all the attention drag queens garner goes all the way back to my earliest days of  coming out into a feminine world. A world I desperately wanted to succeed in. The mistake I made was going to male gay venues…places which were nearly impossible to exist in as a novice transgender woman. I ultimately learned  I could be accepted much more easily in straight venues.  At the same time, I began to grow bored of the same drag queens performing the same songs. 

All of this brings me back to Pride. My earliest trips to Prides were immersed in the usual garishly dressed queens followed close by by cross dressers teetering by in their high heels and tight dresses. Very little appealed to me. I will say though, as the years have gone by, I have noticed more and more transgender women and men enjoying the day. 

Interestingly, the Trans Ohio organizers who are hell bent to put on a virtual event of their own, have a whole other take on why Pride does not represent trans people as a whole. Their take is the money these big Pride events bring in.  The big corporations who are lining up as sponsors are spending money in the wrong areas to truly help the immensely needy segments of the LGBT community. Too much of the money goes to support the event itself or back to the cis male gay groups whole are already doing well in the financial areas.

At any rate, Liz and I can’t attend any of the regional Prides this year for several reasons and even though I don’t like the attention the queens get, I still like to “people watch” the rest of the crowd. 

Party On!

Above, to the left, is a picture of my granddaughter, daughter and myself. Included to my right is my ex wife’s husband who had the strokes and behind is my youngest grandson. 

Not shown (of course) is my daughters father in law who seems to hate the world with me in it. 

Connie, it seems has the same problem:

“I have the same problem with the F-I-L of my eldest daughter. I know that I make him very uncomfortable, which is great, because he had always made me uncomfortable before I was out. He’s one of those with whom any conversation leads to nowhere. That is, he never gives more than a three word answer to any question – unless it is about his church and their fundamentalist teachings, the subject of which I have always tried to avoid. I rather enjoy watching him biting his tongue now, because he is afraid to talk about things that he knows would offend me, as well as everybody else in the family. It’s not really that he doesn’t want to offend; he’s afraid of the repercussions. I still greet him with a friendly hello, and convey that it was nice to see him again upon his departure, but I’m so glad that just being myself is enough reason for us to not have to engage the whole time in-between. I’m thinking that he’s just burning up inside that he sees everyone else accepting and loving me, and my happiness is not affected by his presence or glaring from across the room.

It’s great that you had such a wonderful reunion. Let’s hope we never have to go through such a separation again.”

Let’s hope not indeed! Thanks for the comment! Further more they are aggravated because we are happy!

Getting Busy

 I have written briefly here in Cyrsti’s Condo concerning how I seemingly have the tendency to “bundle” up my events together. When you are retired such as I am, almost anything can be called an “event.”

Old Summer Photo

For example, this week,  on Tuesday I have the first of my two webinars on aging I have signed up for followed by another therapist’s appointment on Wednesday. More than likely too, I have a meeting coming up with the Trans Ohio group on Thursday or Friday. It is about attempting to put together yet another on line event for Pride this year. Personally I think it’s all a case of overkill because of the number of separate Pride events which are happening in  the  metro Cincinnati area but I was out voted. As it stands right now, I think I am going to try to involve a couple of the fabulous cis women transgender allies I know to speak on the subject. 

Then, this weekend is basically a chance to really celebrate being slightly free of the pandemic hold we have been under for well over a year. Of course, both Liz and I have been fully vaccinated. Saturday is a concert in a sculpture park we have been invited to by a musician we know who moved away not long ago to New Mexico. If we go, it could turn out into a dinner out afterwards.

Finally, Sunday is my oldest Grandson’s high school graduation get together.  At the least I will get to see if anyone notices my new teeth. If they do, it will just reinforce in my mind, how far gone my old ones were. After all, I didn’t want to be mistaken for some burn out old crack head.  I just had always figured my teeth would still outlast how long I would live. An idea reminiscent of the dark days of my life. FYI, the only drug abuse I was into was alcohol. 

All the activity will make the week go by in a hurry.

Would You Give Birth?

This was a question which was posed by one of the many bloggers I follow.  The only difference was, it was supposed to be answered only by cis guys. I couldn’t let it go and jumped in with my answer as a transgender woman. 

Over the years, I have known or encountered many trans women who would consider giving birth as the ultimate feminine experience.  Others even crave the idea. 

Over the years my idea of pregnancy has changed. I suppose it goes all the way back to my days with my deceased wife when she was fond of calling me the “pretty, pretty princess.” Adding I didn’t have any real  idea of what life was like for a cis woman. Sadly, she was right.  The last thing I wanted to think of was what cis women had to think of (and do) when they bear children. I was too busy thinking how I looked as a woman was the most important part of my life. 

Politically also,  pregnancy is the point many cis women transphobes make that only real women can bear children The argument of course doesn’t hold water because many cis women are born sterile without the proper “equipment” to go through a pregnancy. Not to mention the countless cis women who don’t desire parenthood at all.

These days, possibly due to the effects of hormone replacement therapy my ideas on pregnancy have changed. Of course it is easy to say at my seventy years of age (plus) deep down I can sense I wouldn’t mind being pregnant. However, I don’t view the whole process as the ultimate pinnacle of my femininity. For some reason now, my body tells me now it wouldn’t be out of the question if it was medically possible. 

Possible or not, the whole pregnancy idea has become yet another question to ponder. These days I think I would/could give birth if it was possible.  

Kim Petras

 If it seems Kim Petras has been in the public eye forever, it’s because the transgender German entertainer started her Mtf gender transition at a very early age. Here is more from “Women’s Health.”:

“German singer and songwriter Kim Petras is the pop queen behind bops like “Heart to Break,” “Icy,” and “Broken Glass.” Oh, and she goes from dark and moody to bubblegum pink flawlessly. Ahead of the 2020 U.S. election, she worked with MTV, LogoTV, and Trans Lifeline on a campaign to provide grant money for trans people to update their IDs.”

She is 28 and released her first recording in 2011.