Changing Gender Gears

 Of course I am biased but I have always thought a human changing gender was one of the most difficult things to attempt. 

As far as I am concerned, as I began to become more serious about making the jump to a transgender feminine life, I began to practice feminine mannerisms when I thought others weren’t watching. I would go to big box stores during their down times just to practice my walk. 

Earliest known 
Picture
Circa 2012

Make up wasn’t such a problem for me as I had been applying it for literally decades before I seriously decided to transition. As I remember though, I had to remind myself to not overdo it. As I started to go out and live with women and be accepted, I had to learn to blend. 

Of course, all bets were off when I started hormone replacement therapy. Even though I started on a bare minimum dose, the changes began to be very unmistakable.  The obvious happened, I grew breasts and let my hair grow out. The surprise came when my skin softened and my face began subtle changes. All in all, I had planned a year before I had to put my male self in the closet. I ended up revising it to six months. 

As I look back to the whole experience, I was fortunate in that I found a small group of cis women to socialize with. I always say they taught me more about the feminine lifestyle than I could have ever learned on my own. But learn I did.

Putting my old guy self in the closet was one of the most satisfying things I have ever done. Overall though, changing gender gears was as terrifying as it was exciting. It was an experience I was born to do.
  

More Transgender Hype

 By now, I am sure you have heard the exciting news the cover model of this years “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit issue is transgender woman Leyna Bloom. 

When I first heard the news, I think it took awhile for the enormity of the cover to set in. 

Obviously, it is one thing to make it into the issue as a transgender woman at all but to make it on to the cover is wonderful. 

All of my thoughts turned to “back in the day” when I worked as a restaurant manager and had a “Sports Illustrated” subscription. all my cooks knew I was going to be receiving the swimsuit issue and were clamoring to see it ASAP. 

I can only imagine their reaction when they found out the cover model was transgender. 

Perhaps times have changed enough that it’s time for a Leyna Bloom to be accepted. 

Jealousy

I could use the kinder and gentler “envious” word but I can’t. Yesterday I was just jealous. 

It was grocery shopping day and Liz and I went out to battle the heat and stock up on all the fruits and vegetables we needed for our new diet. 

As we started our journey down the produce isle, I couldn’t help but notice a woman in a short romper style print dress. I was entranced. The whole process took me back to all the old days of desiring so many cis women. Not sexually. I wanted to be them. To feel what they felt. 

As all the old feelings came flooding back to me, I told myself the usual. Even though I have achieved more than I ever thought I could in a transgender world, I will never in this lifetime achieve the body and look of the woman I was admiring. 

All too soon she went her separate way in the store, my dreams faded and the reality of the day set back in. 

That’s All Good…But…

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – NOVEMBER 14: Mj Rodriguez attends HFPA And THR Golden Globe Ambassador Party at Catch LA on November 14, 2019 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Leon Bennett/WireImage)

Perhaps, by now you have heard the good news “Mj. Rodriquez” transgender lead in the Pose television series was nominated for an Emmy. This of course is a first for a transgender actor or actress. 

However, the trans entertainment news is not all good. 

This is from EW.com:

“The LGBTQ media organization acknowledges the past year resulted in a unique situation for theatrical movies, but it still went ahead with its 2020 Studio Responsibility Index, their report card for sorts on how well Hollywood’s major studios brought LGBTQ representation to the screen. GLAAD found that, out of the 44 films released by those entities, none of them included trans or non-binary characters.

In fact, this is the fourth year in a row where this has happened. By GLAAD’s own estimates, that’s zero trans characters out of almost 400 films since January 2017. The last time a transgender character was included in a major studio film — Disney, Warner Bros., Universal, Paramount, etc. — it was an “offensive caricature,” as GLAAD dubbed it: Benedict Cumberbatch’s All in 2016’s Zoolander 2.”

Thanks Bobbie for sending this along!

On the Road


As I mentioned, today is my youngest grandson’s birthday (13th). Also, due to our new diet, we will be packing our own sugar and flour free lunch. Obviously too, we will not be partaking in any of the birthday cake or ice cream. Sooner more than later I will have to run around in the shower to get wet.

As I try in this post to try to tie up some loose ends, here is a comment/question from Connie:

” There’s no doubt that trans people can be as rude as anyone else. Was the quote said directly from the DJ, or was the T word just added by the accuser to up the ante? Not only can anyone be rude, anyone, including trans people, can be too easily offended, sometimes. I probably would never return to a place where I was called the T word, but I would apologize if what I had done was thought to be rude. I hope that there isn’t a blow-up over it all.”

To clarify, the guy has never come close enough to me to use the “T” word. So, I took for granted what I heard was second hand and by an individual who over the years (literally)  has seemingly done her best to snub the group, 

After all, transgender people are no different than the rest of the population, Some are good folk, some not so much.

The person involved in the whole event supposedly, has never gotten back with me. For all I know, the DJ denied ever saying it or even apologized.  

Coming Attractions

Over the past week including a couple days coming up, I have been able to get out or at least attend events virtually. 

Friday night was the transgender – crossdresser support group social attended by twelve people including Liz and I. We have been going to the same place for years without a problem. To be truthful, the venue isn’t the best on service or speed of cooking orders but everyone knows it. Even still, there are a few who make the visit uncomfortable. Overall, it isn’t the easiest thing to do to reserve tables together for a group of our size.

Plus, I just was contacted yesterday concerning an alleged comment  from the DJ, about the “rude tran-ies” I figure there could be some truth to his bigotry because last week when Liz and I went to the same place by ourselves, he was glaring at us when he first arrived and we were sitting next to his karaoke set up. 

We will see if the problems will be raised by the person who told me or not. 

It’s too bad because Liz and I had a great time with another transgender woman we know and her partner.

The virtual meeting is tonight. It’s the monthly board meeting of Rainbow Elderly Alliance. I am sure we will have reports on Pride in Dayton, Ohio.

Finally, looking slightly ahead, Sunday is my youngest grandson’s birthday and we will be making the trip up to the Dayton, Ohio suburbs for the party. It will be different because Liz and I are on a strict sugar/flour free diet we just started. So we have to pack and bring our own food. I will mention more about the diet in an upcoming post.

I leave you now with this thought:

Be Yourself

 Emma wrote into Cyrsti’s Condo with a wonderful comment on how to go about achieving confidence as you enter the feminine world:

” Indeed, I agree completely that confidence is our best accessory. But how does one gain confidence? For those of us who’re used to just living authentically what can we advise others?
I think there are a couple of things:
1) As you progress through the world, grocery shopping, doing the mundane things, look around and notice, especially those who you wouldn’t normally pay attention to. I know I’m drawn to those I admire, such as pretty, small, young. The truth is that the world is full of a huge variety of people. The message: people just don’t notice most others.

2) Do you remember the song “Almost Cut My Hair” by Crosby, Stills, and Nash? In it they sing about letting their “freak flag fly.” While we’re certainly not freaks it’s fair and okay to just put ourselves out there and be, as we are.

3) For most of us, no amount of makeup, padding, and other stuff is going to make us blend in seamlessly. So, get over it. Lose the excessive makeup. No one wears it, and just having all that on your face calls unwanted attention. Again, pay attention to the women you see and present in a similar way according to your own taste.

4) When it comes down to that moment of taking the first step out, consider this mantra that I used to repeat to myself:

“Whenever we feel fear, it means we’re up against some kind of wall … on the other side of the wall is some kind of freedom.”

Get to the freedom. It’s worth it.”


As I said, a wonderful comment! Thanks Emma!


Once you get to the freedom, there is nothing like it. 

Clutter

 I attended a rather lengthy webinar yesterday designed to help care givers deal with elderly parents or patients. Predictably, no mention was made concerning LGBTQ+ individuals. I did have a question in to be answered by email at a later date. We will see if the moderator ever answers me.  I doubt it but at the least I got my point across. At any rate, the whole adventure used all my battery power on my laptop along with the usual allotted time I use  to write a blog post.

Then today, I filled out a LGBTQ+ survey and filled out the on line vehicle license tags registration for our car. As always it took Ohio time to catch up and offer an on line service to residents of the state.

Speaking of Ohio, the Repugs in our legislature tried to pull a quick one and reintroduce a ban on transgender athletes in the state which was previously defeated. Fortunately it was defeated again and so far trans athletes in Ohio can compete.  As always, our transgender rights seem to be so fragile. 

The idea of fragile rights continues in this post as readers discuss the recent VA policy shift supporting gender realignment surgeries. First, Lisa P:

” It is good news, but we will see joy know that we have real progress when the next Republican Administration doesn’t dismantle the program. My advice to anyone who needs the help is to get it NOW, while the getting is good. Hopefully, this policy will remain in place, but one never knows.”

So true Lisa, thanks for the comment.

Then Michelle commented: 

“Remember that the article did state that the VA needs to find medical staff the can perform the procedures. Unfortunately, as with all government programs it will take some time to get it established. I’m with Lisa about if the republican party has anything to do with it, we will see that taken away. I’m also fully aware of the transphobe medical staff that the VA has down here in Florida.
As you said Cyrsti about having a hint of paranoia, I will be waiting to see what will happen. I hope to find out more this weekend when I meet with several members of the LGBTQ group that works in the VA.”

Hopefully this means if the VA can’t do the procedure themselves, they have to find someone to do it!

Please keep us posted! Also the person in the photo is Carla Lewis. I wore a similar shirt to a Columbus, Ohio Pride event several years ago.