No Plain Jane

Jane Noury

 Amazon Prime Video has announced the new coming-of-age docuseries Always Jane, following transgender teen Jane Noury and her journey to live her most authentic life.

Premiering on Friday, November 12, the four-part series will take an intimate look at the Noury family’s lives as they tackle obstacles with unconditional love and support.The show focuses on Jane Noury who lives with her family in rural New Jersey.

Like any teenager, she must balance friends, family, and school. It’s not the easiest time to grow up but Jane is able to set her sights on life beyond her family.

Staring into a Blank Screen

 Over the years here in Cyrsti’s Condo I have written about my battles with the mirror. Very early in the process of cross dressing I was positively in love with my girlish image. 

Later on though, as I started to journey out in public as a feminine person, I learned the hard way how the mirror can lie. 

This morning as I caught myself staring into into a television screen which wasn’t on, it jogged my memory all the way back to my past days of learning with the mirror. Slowly but so unsurely I was learning to blend and to dress for other women, not men. My problem was I went overboard dressing to accentuate my so called positives. I listened to all the women who told me I had great legs and went too far with mini skirts and heels. The results were predictable and sometimes even clownish. 

Ironically, at the same time, I had nice clothes too. The night when I first decided to go out and blend in with professional women getting off of work in an upscale venue went as well as could have been expected when I calmed down and started to breathe. For the occasion I chose a black pantsuit, flats and straight blonde wig. For once the mirror gave me all the right signals. 

As the years passed on, I learned I too had a better chance of passing as a transgender woman if I was wary of what the mirror was showing me. Along the way I began to treat it as a blank television screen. Never giving it too much worth. 

I still go through wildly fluctuating gender dysphoric mood swings when I look into the mirror. Sometimes I see too much male, other times I see female. I have learned (again the hard way) the answer lies somewhere between the two binary genders. On those days, I am satisfied to live as an androgynous person. Hormone replacement therapy has given me that much.

For now I am slowly learning to exist with the television off and spend more time with my writing and other pursuits. As far as the mirror goes, I have a meetup to go to with Liz tonight, so I will have to revisit myself along with my old friend.

Sometimes I think I have come a long way from the confused boy dressed as a girl in the mirror over fifty years ago. Other times, he is still with me. 

Party On!

Above, to the left, is a picture of my granddaughter, daughter and myself. Included to my right is my ex wife’s husband who had the strokes and behind is my youngest grandson. 

Not shown (of course) is my daughters father in law who seems to hate the world with me in it. 

Connie, it seems has the same problem:

“I have the same problem with the F-I-L of my eldest daughter. I know that I make him very uncomfortable, which is great, because he had always made me uncomfortable before I was out. He’s one of those with whom any conversation leads to nowhere. That is, he never gives more than a three word answer to any question – unless it is about his church and their fundamentalist teachings, the subject of which I have always tried to avoid. I rather enjoy watching him biting his tongue now, because he is afraid to talk about things that he knows would offend me, as well as everybody else in the family. It’s not really that he doesn’t want to offend; he’s afraid of the repercussions. I still greet him with a friendly hello, and convey that it was nice to see him again upon his departure, but I’m so glad that just being myself is enough reason for us to not have to engage the whole time in-between. I’m thinking that he’s just burning up inside that he sees everyone else accepting and loving me, and my happiness is not affected by his presence or glaring from across the room.

It’s great that you had such a wonderful reunion. Let’s hope we never have to go through such a separation again.”

Let’s hope not indeed! Thanks for the comment! Further more they are aggravated because we are happy!