Gender Quiz

Yesterday, I went in for my pulmonary breathing test. 

I arrived early, checked in at the kiosk and pulled out my phone to pass the time. Nobody gave me a second look. 

As I sat there though, my regular Doctor appeared briefly and saw me. Since I wasn’t supposed to see her, I was surprised when she came over to talk. She is very nice and I enjoyed talking to her quite a bit until…she stuck the dreaded “he word” into the conversation. For the life of me, I don’t know why all of the sudden I am having such a miserable time being mis-gendered. 

I have examined how I go about my prep work before I go out and don’t think there is much of a difference. But why would someone call a person obviously wearing feminine clothes with breasts and wearing makeup a he?

I have always believed in the power of how a person projects their personal aura. Perhaps, with time, I have become more lackadaisical in public. I just assume most of the public accepts me as a feminine being.

Maybe I should spend more time channeling my inner female.

Then again, the great majority of people don’t understand what it does to a transgender person to be mis-gendered. I know it can really destroy or make my day when I have achieved the lofty “she” status in a conversation. 

One thing is for sure, the redneck woman glaring and staring at me on the way out didn’t care about pronouns. She was just all ugliness. 

Then again, you can’t educate everyone. 

Self Promotion

Yesterday, my day was filled with going to see the vampires. What I call my team of lab techs and Doc’s who monitor my blood work…or hematology.

It’s mostly a hurry up and wait experience. First, I had a lengthy walk to negotiate in my walking boot to even make it to where the blood labs are taken. It was relatively pleasant though as I took my time and three other women spoke to me along the way. I thought I looked OK with my summertime outfit and reasonable makeup. In fact, just wearing reasonable makeup and nice clothes probably set me up to be mistaken for a staff member. At any rate, I waited for my turn and my blood work was taken without any problems. Then it was off to eat some lunch and wait for the results. 

I took the easy way out and just picked up a tuna salad sandwich, chips and drink. I can always judge how my day is going when I am in the check out line. No problems as the clerk called me mam three times. 

My Fancy Footwear

After lunch, it was time to head upstairs to hematology and wait. The first thing they do is take all vitals including weight, blood pressure and body temperature. My day took an immediate turn to the gutter when the nurse screamed my name as “Mr. Hart.” I just sat there until she changed it. She should know better.

When I finally made it to my Doctor, I began my visit with a brand new resident student. She was very pleasant and asked how I hurt my ankle. I told her most likely on a ghost hunt. Of course she was very interested and I gave her a few of the details. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this years ago but when I was able to refer to myself as “she” a couple times, the Doc did too. 

Since my iron level came back high yesterday, I was taken back for a possible phlebotomy (or when I have to have a pint of blood removed to keep it low). All of a sudden I was the topic of a conversation between two nurses and two doctors who used my proper pronouns flawlessly. I believe it all got started when I was able to call myself she and I will definitely try to remember to do it in the future.

The best news of all though was when the lead Doc said I could skip the blood letting because the higher level of iron could be caused by my injury. So I was able to get out of there as fast as my one and half legs would take me!   

Trace!

Transgender actress, Trace Lysette:

Trace Lysette posted nude for Women’s Health Naked Strength issue, which she described as an incredibly empowering experience given the pressures she faces as a transgender woman, according to an article dictated by the actress for Women’s Health.

In the photo, the Transparent actress posed nude against a tree with her side turned toward the camera. With one hand, she supported herself against the tree while the other rested on the knee of her bent leg, strategically covering her side breast. With the other leg stretched out behind her, the 31-year-old showed off her flawless figure and ample backside while gazing unsmiling at the camera. She wore her long, brown, curly hair loose and flowing down her back while her face was made up with subtle eye makeup and pink lips.

In the article, Trace also opened up about being trans. The Ohio native went on to say:

“As women, we are told not to show our bodies, and as trans people, we’ve been told not to exist. There is something so liberating and beautiful about being naked on your own terms.”

We all should be able to transition as well!!! 

Thanks!

Thanks to those of you who commented on my health issues.  The Doc’s are checking my breathing this coming Thursday and I am still awaiting an appointment for extensive heart tests. It’s a good thing I don’t feel any worse than I do…I guess!

Actually, I am being a whiner. Outside of an occasional pain from my ankle, I don’t feel bad at all. However I do know the risk HRT brings to a person in my age range and am ready to go through more tests. 

On top of all of that, I still have had a busy week. Yesterday was a combined party for my grand kids at my daughter’s mother in law’s.  It went well and the Mother in Law managed not to mis-gender me through the whole party. Perhaps it was because I had my transgender feminine batteries recharged Friday when I went to my hair stylist. Quite frankly, I was feeling quite ragged before she worked her wonders on my hair. After she was done, I felt refreshed and ready to face the world again. 

Monday night, I have another transgender-cross dresser support group meeting. Tuesday I have two appointments at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Administration. The first, a visit with my hematology Doc and the second, my monthly therapist appointment.

Wednesday I have a tag a long appointment with Liz to one of her Doc’s. Which brings me back to Thursday and the breathing appointment. 

It’s a good thing I have a walking boot to protect my ankle!  I am supposed to get it  X-rayed again in two weeks.

One more thing…as I have mentioned before HRT and blood clots are nothing to play with. As Connie commented:

“I’m glad that you didn’t have a blood clot. Those things can be very dangerous and life-threatening. I know; I’ve had two of them. The doctors take no chances, and so off to the emergency center you go. My doctor must have decided that I was lying about not taking hormones, and so he ordered blood tests specifically for my hormone levels. That’s how I discovered that my testosterone/estrogen balance was very close to the average post-menopausal woman (whoopie!). Still, though, there was never any determined cause for the clots. Their only answer was to put me on blood thinners for the rest of my life, and HRT would, forevermore, be out of the question for me. When I got the first clot in my calf, my ankle and foot became so swollen that I thought my skin was going to burst open. 

Do you know how you broke your ankle? I don’t want to alarm you, but HRT can also cause one to lose bone density. You should have a test for that, as well. Osteoporosis may not kill you like a blood clot can, but it can sure affect your lifestyle.”

Ironically, the ankle problem could be a result of an old football injury. Plus, I was tested for Osteoporosis in the past. I’m sure they can do it again! Thanks!

Hormones and the Boot

After a fun filled visit the the VA Clinic, I established a couple more firsts in my life. I ended up taking my first ambulance ride and being fitted for a decidedly unfashionable orthopedic boot for my left foot. 

The visit with her (the Doc) didn’t go so well. She didn’t like the fact my left ankle was swollen and they couldn’t get a clear EKG on me for some reason. Then, due to my age and the fact I am on hormones, she recommended they call the squad and take me to a nearby hospital. Of course I panicked and saw my life as I know it start slipping away.

To make a long story short though, after having an X-ray on the ankle  and vascular (vein) tests done on my legs, no blood clots were found and all I had was a slight break in the ankle which was swollen.  So I was fitted with a walking boot and kicked out. 

Happily, my whole hospital experience came off wonderfully, I was treated with respect and pronouned properly. For some reason a former visit to another hospital years ago showed up on their records. A woman came up to me with a sheepish look on her face and asked if I used to go by a different name and then said my old dead name. Of course I told her the truth and she said someone would be by to change my records. Ironically, a very androgynous person came to do it. Possibly a transgender man. 

So, for the time being, my hormone usage is safe until I start rounds of  tests on my heart possibly next week. Hopefully we will discover why I am so lethargic all of the sudden. Perhaps one of my bi-polar meds needs adjusted. 

We will see. One way or another it has been one out of the ordinary week which started with a paranormal hunt and will end up with a trip to my hair dresser tomorrow.

Doctor Day

This afternoon I go to my new primary provider at a local Veteran’s Administration Clinic which happens to be nearby. A “primary provider” is similar to having a family doctor. I haven’t been to one in over two years.

Since I have been feeling very lethargic recently, I thought it was time to be checked out. My Mom had heart problems in her seventies before passing from heart disease. I’m not having any telltale chest pains but I figure it would be safe to have it checked out.

Also, since I seem to be experiencing all of a sudden this insane period of being mis-gendered, I probably will have to explain to a new nurse and doctor my proper pronouns are she and her.

Let’s not forget too it’s time again (after five years) for one of my most favorite procedures…a colonoscopy. If you haven’t been through one, I will leave the fun details out. One way or another, it’s better than the alternative, which is colon cancer. I just had a close friend pass away from it.

I’m also paranoid the Doc is going to find a reason to take me off my HRT hormones or simply mother time is catching up as I approach seventy.

Maybe too, my bi-polar

meds are causing me to feel too lethargic. We will see!

Not a Ghost of a Chance

Way back when I started Cyrsti’s Condo, little did I think I would be writing a post about going ghost hunting. But never say never!

Saturday we packed up for an all nighter and headed on a two hour trip Northwest to join a group of people I never met before to investigate the Randolph County Infirmary not far across the border in Indiana.

Even though Liz and I watch quite a few of the ghost shows on television these days, I still classified myself as kind of a skeptic.

Not anymore! This turned out to be quite the paranormal adventure. Plus, it turns out one of the Travel Channel shows was following us into the place to do their own ghost hunt.

As far as anything being remotely tied in with a transgender topic, I had to get through the increasingly major hassle of reminding the others of my true gender. After I told the head guy though, everything seemed to go OK.

Of course I wasn’t dressed to impress in an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt Liz bought me in Colorado.

Finally, I was not fortunate to have seen a full apparition, but I did feel one a couple times and heard several highly suspicious noises. The place was definitely haunted. 

While My Blog Gently Weeps

It’s bad enough when yet another mass shooting in El Paso, Texas rocks our country again. But, the second shooting in Dayton, Ohio hit really close to home.

The tragic shooting took place in a trendy restoration district in Dayton, full of bars and restaurants. I know it well. It was one of the first places I went to explore my transgender feminine world. I have many fond memories and can’t imagine why a shooter would chose it to forever mark it in this violent way.

I haven’t been there for a few years since I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio. 

Cases such as yesterday have a tendency to bring fear to my heart when Liz and I are out and about. An example was yesterday when Liz and I finished our witches ball meeting. We were walking hand in hand to the car when I noticed a forty something couple glaring at us. Of course, the younger people had no reaction at all. I did wonder what problem they had with us. Was it because I was transgender or the fact we were holding hands. Guess, I will never know. Maybe they were just anti LGBTQ rednecks. After all, Resident Rump and his best closeted boy Pence were just in town. 

Back to the point at hand. I am far from smart enough to suggest anything far reaching enough to stem this epidemic of gun violence in this country.

I do know though, something different needs to be done. Sending thoughts and prayers has just become too hollow. 

Perhaps we should take a lesson or two from the fiftieth anniversary of Woodstock…try preaching Peace and Love to get guns out of the hands of those who shouldn’t have them to start with. And maybe start with getting Russian NRA blood money out of congress. 

I know I am a dreamer but I shouldn’t be the only one.

Going “Full-time”

I am fairly sure there are more than a few Cyrsti’s Condo readers who are considering and or dreaming of going 24/7 as a transgender woman. As I read back to some of my oldest posts from five or so years ago, one of the biggest changes I noticed was the influence of how I looked back then versus my addiction today to how I am treated by the public.

Much of it continues to amaze me in how different it all is from my perceptions years ago.  After I went through the basics of gender discrimination and losing my male privilege, the reality of an everyday existence set in. All of a sudden, I had to plan way ahead  on what I was going to wear and try to figure out how I was going to blend in the easiest way with other women where I was going. 

Let’s just say most of my preconceived ideas of completing a Mtf gender transition were not accurate at all. I still suffer from gender dysphoria after all these years and probably always will. Regardless of being able to navigate society as a feminine person, I am still deeply hurt when I get mis-gendered. I am reasonably sure I always will. I always try to keep in mind I suffered from sixty plus years of testosterone poisoning, so I am fortunate to have come as far as I have.

For another look at the process, here is a comment from Connie:

“Dreaming of going to a full-time existence is based on our experiences of one-event-at-a-time. Living every moment of every day as a woman eventually becomes the new normal, but it need not be any less exciting. Just living life as ones true self is amazing in itself. Or, as I like to say, I know I am really living when those things that were once extraordinary become ordinary – which is extraordinary in itself.”

So true! Thanks!  

Busy!

Since our vacation ended, it seems as if all we have been doing is run.

Monday we got back. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I went with Liz to her Doctor appointments and finally the grocery store. Then tonight we have a monthly social with the transgender – cross dresser support group we are a part of.

It’s hard to believe another month has raced by already. I haven’t even figured out what I am going to wear. 

Saturday will make sixteen straight days of doing something. As we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Halloween party coming up in October. Plus, while I am on the subject of Halloween activity, Liz and I are going on a ghost hunt over in Indiana on Sunday.

It’s no wonder, I am going through so much make up! Here is a picture taken on one of our Colorado train rides wearing little to no makeup…with Liz of course. I chose to wear just a light foundation and eye makeup that day. Wasn’t trying to conserve makeup, I was just trying to blend in with most of the other women on the trip. 

Back “in the day” when I dreamed of going into a full time transgender existence, Little did I know it would be this extensive.