Or is it? Every morning when I wake up, I do a quick self examination of my body to see what hurts the most, or at all. Very quickly I then move on to thinking about the blog and what I have written about in the past. Every now and then, I come up with a former experience from years ago in my past.
Plus every once in a while, I am able to find a picture to aid in the story. An example is this picture from a decade ago in 2010. Somehow, I was able to come up with my own version of primitive photo shopping on my cell phone. I did it by taking my picture in a mirror so I could see myself as I did it. My goal was to take a picture to add to my profile on the multiple dating sites I was exploring.
The hair in the photo was a wig of course. Ironically my hair currently is as long and nearly as wavy if I add a liberal amount of mousse after I wash it.
It’s also taken me nearly a decade to grow my own breasts which were comparable to the forms I wore back then. Of course I am fortunate to have been able to undergo hormone replacement therapy at my age.
So, inspiration for a blog post is fleeting when I am well over 6,000 posts written for Cyrsti’s Condo.
One good thing about the picture is, it is the one my partner Liz saw and decided to respond to me because I had “sad eyes”. At that point in time I did.
It was taken before I found a circle of accepting friends who helped me transition and gain a whole new level of inspiration.
This quote really brought back memories of my very early days when I was entering out into a terrifying yet exciting feminine world.
It seemed everytime I tried something would go wrong. An example would be when my heel snagged a crack in floor at a mall I was walking in. I went from from proudly walking along to almost falling on my face. Overtime, I fell on my face quite a bit but I learned.
Overtime, I learned practice did make perfect and I learned to live as a transgender woman full time. Probably what really happened was I finally arrived at a point where I was comfortable in my own skin and didn’t need an imagined acceptance from the world to live an authentic life.