Another Transgender First

 I remember :back in the day” going to Pride carried with it a sense of frustration. Normally the first thing you saw was a group of garish drag queens waving from the back of a decorated truck or convertible. It was all well and good for them but had very little to do with me as a transgender woman. The “T” in LGBT Pride was definitely silent. I didn’t let any of that stop me though. I figured at the least I could represent a portion of the transgender community who were just trying to lead an authentic life while at the same time having fun.  

As time went on, more and more trans women and trans men began to attend Pride (at least here locally) and recently, a trans woman was selected to lead the Cincinnati Pride Parade. In a few other major locations, such as Los Angeles now the celebration has gone full circle as transgender woman Sharon-Franklin Brown (below) has been named president of the sizable operation.

We have come along way…with such a long way yet to go.

Are You Bored Too?

 Every now and then, this damn virus just really aggravates me with the boredom it produces. Rumor has it I might be able to twist Liz’s arm and go out for dinner this weekend. Which I will let you know about later, if it happens at all. In the meantime, let’s check in with Connie (below) and how she is handling staying in, and safe:

“Well, I know that I’m just waiting for the senior center to open up again, so  I can achieve my goal of becoming Bingo Queen. I think I’ll entitle this phase of my life: “From Bimbo to Bingo .” 🙂

OK, that’s not completely true. I never really reached (or wanted to) Bimbohood. I have played one on stage, however. Bingo, though not so bad in itself, may be something I could do only occasionally; not so emphatically as may be required at the senior center. Besides, the big draw on Bingo night around here is “Drag Queen Bingo,” and that doesn’t fit my narrative, either.The city colleges here offer classes to seniors for $5.00 each. That seemed like a great deal to me, until I found that books, supplies, and parking fees would cost upwards of $200.00. Still, keeping my mind active and challenged is high on my short list of things to do.

It wasn’t so many years ago that I would sit in my house, with doors locked and shades drawn, hoping that I could, someday, be a part of the outside world as the woman I was seeing in the mirror. Sure, I would sneak out to another part of town to reveal my femininity, but that was only a temporary fix. Your post this morning came earlier than usual. After reading it, I sat on my front porch, soaking in the morning sun and sipping my coffee. Neighbors went by, walking their dogs, and we exchanged pleasantries. I began to think that this was the fulfillment of my hopes. Really, though, it is just a level of comfort that I have reached (deserved, definitely, but not totally satisfying). Then, I began to consider that, if I could put even half the energy into something that I had put into having a comfortable trans existence, I could accomplish all sorts of things. The trouble is that half of the energy is all the energy I can muster up these days. Even half of that, though, would still be enough to do something significant.

There has to be a what’s next, because it’s not good enough to have the next to nothing I feel now.”

Rude Paul

If you haven’t heard, “Rude Paul”, Mr. transphobe himself is going to host one of my favorite shows, Saturday Night Live. 

This comes from The Advocate website:

“RuPaul’s Drag Race unveiled its new crop of contestants for season 12 last week. And once again, the cast is composed entirely of cisgender men.

Transgender inclusion has long been a point of controversy for the VHI reality series. While several notable transgender contestants emerged from the Drag Race universe — among them, Carmen Carrera, Jiggly Caliente, Sonique, and Monica Beverly Hillz — only Peppermint was an out trans contestant, on season 9. Gia Gunn also competed on All Stars 4 after coming out but noted in a follow-up interview that she felt “completely disregarded” by RuPaul and the show during the experience.”

Detox, Carmen Carerra and Aja

Ironically, on Facebook recently I became embroiled in a heated conversation with a big fan of the privileged “Rude” one who positively makes me sick anytime I see him. 

Then again, I am seeing an uptick of rump supporters too lately which I am busily blocking. For some reason, I have been running into a number of old cross dressers who really don’t care rump and his minions are busily trying to erase us as LGBTQ citizens. 

It wouldn’t surprise me if Rude doesn’t support him too. 

To be sure, I won’t be watching the Saturday Night Live he is on. 

Mirror, Mirror…

Over my life, I have suffered from a love/hate relationship with my mirror.

It started early on as I benefited from a long hallway we had in the house which featured a full length mirror at one end. I could get cross dressed up and fantasize I was a beautiful girl. Unfortunately it was much later in life when I learned how wrong the mirror could be. The best example would be when the mirror thought one of my best described as a drag queen outfit would look good at the mall. I even put together a tennis outfit once. I can only imagine now how ridiculous I looked. In fact, many times the public told me with their reaction.

As the cell phone camera began to emerge though, the mirror emerged in a new light. Even though I owned an aging regular camera which has since went totally obsolete, the cell phone gave me a new avenue to view myself and show myself to the world. After extensive experimentation, I found I could take a better picture of myself if I took it from the mirror. Or so I thought. Seemingly, I could put any picture on a dating site and get a positive reaction.

Actually though, one of my pictures attracted my partner Liz on a dating site called Zoosk. Rest assured the process was long and grueling, as I suffered many cases of being stood up by men looking for a date. On the other hand, Liz was attracted to my photo because of my sad eyes. She felt a connection.

Every once in a while, I still sneak in a mirror picture. Here is one of my favorites from two winters ago. It was taken after a fun night on the town with Liz, in our hotel room. It had one of those fancy lighted mirrors in the room and I couldn’t resist as Liz was already asleep.

After I see it, I want to color my hair again and shift the part back to the center. I have to keep telling myself to stay the course with my current silver gray hair which according to my “experts” (Liz and my stylist) is kinder to my complexion, age etc.

Plus, this mirror pic does not represent my real everyday life anymore. As with any picture, it only represents a small slice of time.