Hormones and the Boot

After a fun filled visit the the VA Clinic, I established a couple more firsts in my life. I ended up taking my first ambulance ride and being fitted for a decidedly unfashionable orthopedic boot for my left foot. 

The visit with her (the Doc) didn’t go so well. She didn’t like the fact my left ankle was swollen and they couldn’t get a clear EKG on me for some reason. Then, due to my age and the fact I am on hormones, she recommended they call the squad and take me to a nearby hospital. Of course I panicked and saw my life as I know it start slipping away.

To make a long story short though, after having an X-ray on the ankle  and vascular (vein) tests done on my legs, no blood clots were found and all I had was a slight break in the ankle which was swollen.  So I was fitted with a walking boot and kicked out. 

Happily, my whole hospital experience came off wonderfully, I was treated with respect and pronouned properly. For some reason a former visit to another hospital years ago showed up on their records. A woman came up to me with a sheepish look on her face and asked if I used to go by a different name and then said my old dead name. Of course I told her the truth and she said someone would be by to change my records. Ironically, a very androgynous person came to do it. Possibly a transgender man. 

So, for the time being, my hormone usage is safe until I start rounds of  tests on my heart possibly next week. Hopefully we will discover why I am so lethargic all of the sudden. Perhaps one of my bi-polar meds needs adjusted. 

We will see. One way or another it has been one out of the ordinary week which started with a paranormal hunt and will end up with a trip to my hair dresser tomorrow.

Doctor Day

This afternoon I go to my new primary provider at a local Veteran’s Administration Clinic which happens to be nearby. A “primary provider” is similar to having a family doctor. I haven’t been to one in over two years.

Since I have been feeling very lethargic recently, I thought it was time to be checked out. My Mom had heart problems in her seventies before passing from heart disease. I’m not having any telltale chest pains but I figure it would be safe to have it checked out.

Also, since I seem to be experiencing all of a sudden this insane period of being mis-gendered, I probably will have to explain to a new nurse and doctor my proper pronouns are she and her.

Let’s not forget too it’s time again (after five years) for one of my most favorite procedures…a colonoscopy. If you haven’t been through one, I will leave the fun details out. One way or another, it’s better than the alternative, which is colon cancer. I just had a close friend pass away from it.

I’m also paranoid the Doc is going to find a reason to take me off my HRT hormones or simply mother time is catching up as I approach seventy.

Maybe too, my bi-polar

meds are causing me to feel too lethargic. We will see!

Going “Full-time”

I am fairly sure there are more than a few Cyrsti’s Condo readers who are considering and or dreaming of going 24/7 as a transgender woman. As I read back to some of my oldest posts from five or so years ago, one of the biggest changes I noticed was the influence of how I looked back then versus my addiction today to how I am treated by the public.

Much of it continues to amaze me in how different it all is from my perceptions years ago.  After I went through the basics of gender discrimination and losing my male privilege, the reality of an everyday existence set in. All of a sudden, I had to plan way ahead  on what I was going to wear and try to figure out how I was going to blend in the easiest way with other women where I was going. 

Let’s just say most of my preconceived ideas of completing a Mtf gender transition were not accurate at all. I still suffer from gender dysphoria after all these years and probably always will. Regardless of being able to navigate society as a feminine person, I am still deeply hurt when I get mis-gendered. I am reasonably sure I always will. I always try to keep in mind I suffered from sixty plus years of testosterone poisoning, so I am fortunate to have come as far as I have.

For another look at the process, here is a comment from Connie:

“Dreaming of going to a full-time existence is based on our experiences of one-event-at-a-time. Living every moment of every day as a woman eventually becomes the new normal, but it need not be any less exciting. Just living life as ones true self is amazing in itself. Or, as I like to say, I know I am really living when those things that were once extraordinary become ordinary – which is extraordinary in itself.”

So true! Thanks!  

Busy!

Since our vacation ended, it seems as if all we have been doing is run.

Monday we got back. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I went with Liz to her Doctor appointments and finally the grocery store. Then tonight we have a monthly social with the transgender – cross dresser support group we are a part of.

It’s hard to believe another month has raced by already. I haven’t even figured out what I am going to wear. 

Saturday will make sixteen straight days of doing something. As we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Halloween party coming up in October. Plus, while I am on the subject of Halloween activity, Liz and I are going on a ghost hunt over in Indiana on Sunday.

It’s no wonder, I am going through so much make up! Here is a picture taken on one of our Colorado train rides wearing little to no makeup…with Liz of course. I chose to wear just a light foundation and eye makeup that day. Wasn’t trying to conserve makeup, I was just trying to blend in with most of the other women on the trip. 

Back “in the day” when I dreamed of going into a full time transgender existence, Little did I know it would be this extensive.

Tamanna Simhadri

From India: 

 Tamanna Simhadri is from Avanigadda, a small village in Krishna district, Andhra Pradesh, but was raised in Vijayawada. Despite poor financial conditions, she managed to complete SSC and pursued PUC, which is equivalent to Intermediate Education, from Andhra University. Later, she obtained her degree in Bachelor of Computer Applications from Indira Gandhi Open University.

 In 2010, she won her first beauty pageant, Miss Transgender Mumbai. The 34-year-old also works with an NGO called Triveni, which works for the welfare of women and the transgender community.

 Tamanna is also the first trans woman to contest the recently held assembly elections in Andhra Pradesh. She fought the election as an independent candidate from Mangalagiri. However, Simhadri lost in the polls.

Currently, she is the first trans woman on “Big Boss Telugu.” Go here for more.

She’s Baack!

Three thousand five hundred miles (round trip) later, we (Liz and I) are back safe and sound from our trip to Colorado.

Very early in the trip, I began to think of myself as a “navigator.” Of course my thoughts had nothing to do with the route we traveled itself but instead with navigating the people around me. To be expected the majority of the bus was filled with people my age or older. I’m nearly seventy. Plus, many were from the rural areas of Indiana. Not quite the hot bed of liberal thought.

Fortunately, I had Liz running interference for me.  Quite early in the eleven day trip, the wife of the host of the trip referred to me as “he.” Liz set her straight and from then on, at the least, I was referred to by my name. Not mis-pronouned. I only heard the dreaded he word once to my face.

More important though, was how I interacted with everybody. I tried to smile and be as interactive as possible and it worked.

The moment of truth on these trips always comes when all the riders have to use the rest room. I think there were only five or six men on the trip out of a total of 38 people. So spots in the women’s restrooms were at a premium. Most of the places we were able to stop at were at the big truck stops along the interstates we traveled. I am happy to say, I experienced no problems.

The only problem I did experience, was with the thin air as we climbed to Denver (and above), We were able to find a place along the way which sold cans of oxygen to help some of us out. We actually crossed the continental divide twice.

The trade out was the lack of humidity we are cursed with here in Cincinnati. Even though we did experience a little rain in Colorado, overall, we escaped some pretty good sized storms. One of the interstates in Denver was closed by a mud slide, fortunately not in the direction we were going.

I did fairly well in the packing department. Although we did have to was some clothes about halfway through the trip.

What I did come away with was, most of the people adjusted quickly and well to a transgender person being along for the ride. Now they can say they have met a real live trans woman.  Also, since it has been since the mid 1970’s I have been out west that far, I had forgotten the sheer size of our country. Plus, I know I have only scratched the surface.

Even though I was welded to a bus seat for that long, the trip will produce many fond memories and I will have a few pictures coming up!

Vacay Post Three

This is a Cyrsti’s Condo post from 2015. It is a very weak attempt to explain a few of my early changes when I restarted hormone replacement therapy:

“More great news yesterday! My estrogen was found not to be the basis of my liver problems this summer…and I am allowed to resume my dosage ASAP. 


Estrogen is like a snowflake, for the most part  the hormone effects each trans person different. 


Yes there is the breast development-which is tied in with your feminine family genetics and normally never up to the expectations of the person on HRT. (Many cis women aren’t satisfied with their breasts, so we are in good company.)


Yes there is the emotional aspect-which I think is the biggest part. You do get “weepy”and experience “hot flashes” -which are different animals unto themselves. As close as I can come explaining one is during my first one, I thought I was internally combusting!


The part of Estrogen effects (so far) I have never been able to explain to anyone (man or woman) is how my world softened internally. Somehow I was more perceptive to the world around me. Cis men don’t experience it and cis women are born with it-so they don’t understand. That’s OK!


Finally, I look forward to a couple exterior changes. My hair will thicken again and my skin will soften-bringing out curves.


Poor Liz (my partner) she gets to live through another MtF gender puberty of sorts. She wasn’t around for my first. She was with me as I started HRT the first time and a form of transgender menopause when I stopped. 


And now, here we go again!!! YAY!!!”

Four years later and it’s way past time to write an update to this post. I will when I start to go “live” again with my posts next week.

Vacay Post Two

This my my attempt at a humorous look at my early days of DIY hair coloring from 2015:

 “Finally, a couple nights ago, I broke down and colored by hair-basically by myself. I will explain.

“Basically” means I only made a mess with the color base in a couple spots, like the bathroom door and sink. If you have ever worked with hair color, it will stain almost anything and get you (me) hollered at. No pressure? Plus I sort of figured if I screwed up bad enough, Liz would help. I didn’t and neither did she.

Lets back track a bit to where I got to this place. Looking back years ago to when I put my wigs aside and began attempting to style my own hair. Very simply, I called this the first time in my life I had to see the back of my head and brush out my hair. A “Pink Floyd” song? “The Dark Side of the Head?” Seriously, being able to experience the thrill of having/wearing my own hair has been worth the hassle. Having said that, if you are a transgender woman of means- you can afford the monthly trip to your hairdresser and is flat out wonderful.

I can’t afford the luxury though so I had to enter the DIY hair color biz. From the school of hard hair mistakes-here are a few of mine:

  1. Read the instructions…don’t be a guy…read the instructions.
  2. When those mean old instructions tell you to “PUT ON THE GLOVES”-do it.
  3. Save back a couple of old towels you don’t care if you color too for your removal process.
  4. BE CAREFUL and don’t get the color on walls, tile, cat, carpet etc. Get it on your noggin. 
  5. Make sure you color your roots completely. Or you will be like me and your gray hair will come back fast and look like a huge bald spot.
  6. Don’t worry about the color which gets on to your skin around your temples, DO worry about not coloring your temples. (hair)
  7. The rest is up to you and the color product you purchased. Mine calls for rinse, two shampoos, and a conditioner. 

So, there you go, but to me totally worth it and I felt positively terrible until I colored my hair. We all learn early as cross dressers or transgender women what hair means to us. Plus with Thanksgiving here, I didn’t want to go to the family with the way my hair looked.

I took my abuse for making a mess and feel quite satisfied with the job I did looks. The question is now how long more will I stick with my “Vibrant Violet” hair color.”

Fortunately now, I can have a professional help me.

Vacation Post One

I am going to attempt to pull a few relevant posts from the Cyrsti’s Condo archives to use while I am on vacation later on this week for approximately ten days.

As I look back through the old posts, I realize how much I have changed in certain areas. This happened several years ago:

“Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn’t have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn’t quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way…as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!”

These days, I have so much more confidence in myself. I wouldn’t care what they thought!

Action Day

It’s finally here, the day before we depart on vacation.  Now, the fun starts. I am doing a final load of clothes, so I will have what I hope is a good selection of clothes to take. Of course, now, outfits are just the beginning of my packing needs.

I have a separate small bag I will take for my make up. Fortunately, thanks in a great part to changes in my skin and face from HRT, my make up needs are a lot less. Plus, I want to attempt to blend in the best I can with the rest of the women on the tour, who usually are even older than me. So, the emphasis will be on simplicity with touches of emphasis on contour, eyes and lips. Nothing dramatic.  So the make up and toiletry part of packing is just about ready.

Unfortunately, most of my packing will have to wait till the last moment when I pack my CPAP breathing machine. I plan on taking (depending upon room) four tops and three sets of different bottoms, including one set of leggings. We are only allowed one suitcase, so that is going to have to make it.

Of course in the middle of a day when we have to go the ATM for a little bit of cash and to the store for a few forgotten necessities, we have a social to go to tonight. It’s the one which was moved from a small local restaurant/bar to a big corporate one. I can understand the reason…the small venue always wanted to close about an hour after we all got there. On the other hand though, it provided a low key non threatening place for novice cross dressers or transgender women to come to. The bigger place just doesn’t offer any of that. We will see what happens with attendance.

While I am gone, I have tried to file an archive post to go live approximately every two days. Hopefully, a dual purpose will be served, some sort of continuity when I am gone. Plus a much needed blog vacation for me. 

I hope you enjoy them!