Revenge?

Last night was our regular monthly social with the transgender – cross dresser group my partner Liz and I are part of. All of the usual suspects were there, including the Mike Pence (yes the fascist vice president) loving cross dresser. 

I was enjoying myself. I thought I looked as good as possible with my loose fitting sleeveless top, along with my black leggings and black flats. The outfit gives me an inkling of how the hormones I have been on are finally shaping me a feminine body without the benefit of any shapers what so ever. The weather was not overwhelming hot and the air conditioner works well in the almost new car we just bought. Life was good.

I was even ignoring my less than fave cross dresser acquaintance until Liz started a conversation with his daughter about why my brother and I don’t speak anymore. The basic reason is he (my brother) won’t accept me over the feelings of his Southern Baptist in laws. All of the sudden I sensed my opening was coming.

To set it up, a couple weeks ago over dinner, I was trying to get Mr. CD to bring up his buddy Pence (they are both from Indiana) and he did by calling him a “man from a good Christian family.” Last night, his daughter wanted to know why my brother didn’t accept me. I couldn’t resist and looked her and Dad right in the eye and said because of a good Christian family. 

All of a sudden, the dinner conversation was over. I felt I had arrived finally. Everyone was wondering why I was so quiet…no more. However, I warned them.

Speaking, or writing on religion, Connie did write in this comment to add in because it’s never “enough said.”:

“Well, I wasn’t going to comment on this, since you ended your post with “enough said,” but since others have spoken up…

The book of Deuteronomy is, basically, a list of rules that pertained to the society and culture of that time. It doesn’t explain the reasons, really, and much is left to interpretation. I’ve read that 2:25 may have been in reference to men attempting to avoid military service, as well as women who wanted to fight. Of course, it could have been put on the list by a homophobic authority figure who found himself attracted to a trans woman. Your anonymous “commenter” appears to be of that ilk, especially considering the other Bible verse attached. 

Connie (below)

After years of hiding myself from anyone, literally and otherwise, I had what was, at least, an epiphany – but I do believe that God spoke to me directly. As I sat alone, locked in a room, I heard a voice saying, simply, “It’s OK; you are OK.” For me, that overrides any Bible quotes anybody else tries to throw at me. 

Now, if I could just get one of those Bible Thumpers to explain why God created a man with nipples before He created a woman, I’d be a happy woman! :-)”

Enough said? This time?

Saturday Night Lights

Tonight I will supposedly meet the two daughters of the cross dresser I am not really fond of.  You may remember, this is the one who is madly in love with Liz and has made the comment that all transgender women on hormones are bitches. One good way to make sure we are one is to come up with a sweeping stereotypical comment like that!

At any rate, I am looking forward to where we are going to eat and seeing if the cross dresser comes as his guy self, which he has done in the past. I am also interested to see if the daughters show up at all. If either happens, I don’t know why we were invited at all.

I will let you know what happens!

Shrink Wrapped?

Picture from last summer’s Cincinnati, Ohio Pride

Yesterday as I mentioned before here in Cyrsti’s Condo, was my monthly visit to my therapist. The session went as expected with extra emphasis on Veteran’s Administration mandated surveys they are over prone on occasion to give out. The surveys basically delved into potential depression and it’s results.

We also went into the Trans Ohio Symposium information I recently received and I am scheduled to present one of the first workshops on Saturday morning. I laughed I would potentially still be hung over from the attendee mixer the night before which we always attend at Columbus, Ohio’s Club Diversity. Liz and I always safely Uber about the city on our pre-destined trips to alcoholic venues.  

My therapist and I also talked about my trip to visit my vacant property in Springfield to pick up any litter as needed. It turns out no upkeep was needed.

As it turned out, when I checked out comments to the blog this morning, Connie had a different idea of the visit:

“Maybe I can save you a trip to the therapist (or give you something to talk to the therapist about). Have you considered that the littered vacant lot could represent your past – experiences you lived, but now wish would just go away?

I think, when we transition, we may be anxious to be rid of the male persona in favor of a new totally-feminine existence. All of our past experiences culminate into who we are, though. In the (long) process of transitioning, I believe that it’s impossible to vacate our pasts, but we do begin to view them from a different perspective. Although there may be much that litters our past, the important things, like close personal relationships, can’t be ignored. 

Today is my first daughter’s 40th birthday (how can that be, when I am still in my 40’s?). ๐Ÿ™‚ I have been reminiscing about her this morning, and, although I wouldn’t ever want to forget anything about her, there are some not-so-great things that litter my memories – the time when she was about eleven, and accidentally caught me cross dressed, being one of the most regrettable. We can’t erase anything, but we can pick up the pieces and try to put them into a new perspective.

There are plenty of other things from my past – good and bad – that I will never forget, but I certainly don’t talk about them as I might have years ago. Sitting around with a bunch of guys (even if they are in dresses), trading stories in a one-up-man-ship manner, is just not appealing to me these days. It only ever was because I was so into the overcompensation game of hiding my femininity with demonstrations of hyper-masculinity. Oh, how silly I now see myself to have been!

I often refer to the AA Serenity Prayer, because it seems to sum up my transgender existence:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

Thanks!!!

Are Females Women?

This Cyrsti’s Condo post was actually from 2013 but I thought it was still relevant today:

Recently on one of the thousand of television shows I watch, I heard the comment “She’s a female but that doesn’t make her aย woman” Unless I was missing something, a genetic woman said it. So true it is.

Since that time, I have been bouncing around the idea of another post in my noggin called “Are Genetic Women Human Too?”

Let’s see if I can toss them both into the Cyrsti’s Condo kitchen blender and see if anything good comes out.

The last time I lookedย bothย gendersย areย human! ย I knew all that college biology I almost flunked would come back to help me! YAY! ย OK, back to the blender. Females aren’t necessarilyย womenย but yes they are still human. Now, lets toss in some spices from our culture. Both are fairly rare, so we may have to use a lot!

The first spice is a little gritty and comes from the base of aย pedestal. ย As I jump around the never never land of the Internet, I still am dazzled by the sisters in my culture who hoist females up on a pedestal for worship purposes. Certainly females are the “keepers of the flame”ย currentlyย in our race because of their birthing ability. Past that kids, the days of wives in suburbia living fairy tale lives are gone and females are out in the world competing hard to make it. ย But if want to put them in your bubble bath world- that’s cool. ย This is a large pedestal so the little bit of it we use won’t affect it’s stability.

The second spice is also so very rare and maybe a little sweet if you find it. The spice is the very mystical “if I could find a woman to show me “the ropes” of a feminine existence, I could shortcut the real learning process, and get to the “promised land.”

As you could tell, Iย mayย be a tad jaded in my assessment of the spices needed so I’m going to add an extra helping of chocolate to flavor our drink.

Now, unless you are as scattered as I am, you need a bit of translation. Very simply female is a birth issue, woman is a lifestyle choice. ย The same as being born male but your transgender noggin is screaming NO! Secondly, females or womenย doย come from another planet than men but it isย notย the pink warm and fuzzy world you put up on a pedestal and proclaim undying loyalty to. And finally, there are a few of the magical mystery women willing to take you toย the other side.ย You may live with one and bless her heart! Unfortunately from my perch here in the “web-o-sphere” the spousal response I hear most about is “Take your dresses and the next sound you will hear will be from my divorce lawyer.”

So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your beverage. ย On occasion I try to “bundle” several thoughts and tie them in with feedback I get here in Cyrsti’s Condo and a couple other places I participate in. ย The final parting thought I can leave you with is: the next time you are out and feeling really insecure about yourself as a woman-take heart, there could be plenty of females around you feeling the same about themselves.

Now have some class and quit making noise sucking on that straw!

How Quiet Can it Be?

I am looking ahead to another fairly quiet weekend. Except for Sunday.

This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.

ย Asย I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.

Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.

What a shame! ๐Ÿ™‚