Group Tears

Last night’s transgender – cross dresser support group meeting at times was very intense. For example, we had a first time participant show up who is not transgender but has two trans kids. Ironically, she wants to be able to connect with them but can’t seem to. More than likely their is probably another detached spouse pulling the strings. Through her tears she managed to say she “thinks” Cincinnati Children’s Hospital is involved , which is the “Gold Standard” for trans care in the area for anyone 24 or younger. 

Another interesting attendee was struggling to put into focus who they really were. Even though, they are starting HRT and most of work knows, they still use the terminology “dressing up” as a woman and not dressing as their “true self”. 

Also in attendance were two totally new peeps, one still dressed as a guy. Neither said a whole lot except one owned a new “old school” board game shop fairly close to our house. 

More tears came after the new peeps when one of the trans women who brought her wife to the last meeting read a letter from the wife. The letter delved deeply into the struggle she was having accepting the “death” of her husband and the ability to being able to move on if she had too. 

Between her and the woman with the two trans kids, I realized once again the severe distress gender dysphoria can cause. 

I hope everyone’s time at the meeting was valuable. Even the young trans woman who has a boy friend who knows she is trans. Haven’t seen her for a long time but she is transitioning really well. 

Balancing her story is a sad one. One of the nicest transgender women I have ever met went through all her gender surgeries with flying colors, found a man who again knew of her past but went ahead with plans to get married anyhow. However, before the date, he backed out saying people in the small Kentucky town he was from were calling him gay. More tears.

Maybe I should check my hormone levels! 

LGBTQ Pride

Yesterday was a very long day for my partner Liz and I. It was Cincinnati Pride Day.  A medium sized event (as far as Prides go) with around 100,000 people attending.

Our day started around eight in the morning since we also set up a promotional booth for our fall Cincinnati Witches Ball. I stayed in the booth while Liz and a couple others walked in the parade. Doing so, I was able to escape the early showers that ended early in the afternoon.

Since we set up a booth, we had to stay all day until nine at night, so as I wrote, it made for a long exciting day.

Cincinnati, Ohio Pride Parade

During the day, I was able to “escape” a couple times and visit the booth the cross dresser – transgender group I am part of too. They did so well they passed out all the information they brought by around four in the afternoon.

Of course what I like about Pride the most were the younger people being able to celebrate being themselves in a totally inclusive environment. The whole day gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling for the future. Once the majority of the old white power dinosaurs finish dying off and the kids take over, they can change the world.

As for me yesterday, by the time the day was over, I was feeling every bit of my nearly seventy years on this planet. Part of me was happy the day was over but another part of me was sad too. 

Even though I live my own Pride 24/7, I can’t wait for next year!

Staying up Late

Last night’s monthly dinner social with the transgender – cross dresser group we are part of came off as predicted…good food and over by nine. About that time, word started to spread about a Cincinnati Pride kick off party at a old restored theater. Since Liz had the day off Friday, we decided to go.

The crowd at the kick off party was predictable but fun. I am fairly sure I was one of the few transgender people in the venue. Most of the participants were gay men interspersed by lesbians and drag queens. In particular one drag king performer put on a sexy burlesque show which was dynamite.

To make a long story short, I drank too many beers and stayed out late but a good time was had by all. 

Hunter Schafer

From Rachel Paige:

“You’ve probably heard the name Hunter Schafer before, and if you haven’t you should definitely learn it. She’s only 20 years old and already a star on the rise in the worlds of modeling, acting, and maybe most important especially in this day in age, LGBTQ rights.

Schafer is a trans woman who stars as Jules in HBO’s brand new series Euphoria where she’s also playing a trans teenager who’s just transferred to a new school. Much like everyone else on Euphoria, Jules gets into some rather difficult to watch scenes that are sure to have audiences talking — but maybe for the right reasons. Even in 2019, it’s rare to see trans characters on screen, and even rarer for them to actually be played by transgender actors (GLAAD’s survey of 2017 and 2018 media found only 17 trans characters in all of television — a measly five percent).”

For more, follow the link above.

Happy “Parent’s Day”

Today is Father’s Day, or Parent’s Day as my daughter prefers to call it.

As far as my Dad was concerned, he seemed to follow a trend I saw this morning on the news. Current Fathers spend three times the amount of time with their kids as Dad’s did back in 1965. I would have been approximately halfway through high school.

I respected my Dad but I can’t say we were ever able to express any love between each other. Our roles seemed to be deeply predefined.  Plus we were deeply divided on what was going on in the country in the 60’s.

He was a child of the Great Depression and a survivor of World War II. Very much the self made man.

He passed on years ago and to my knowledge never had any idea of my gender problems.

Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Meeting the Enemy?

Today we sat up in a local park’s farmer’s market to try and sell fresh baked goods and other articles in an attempt to raise money for our Witches Ball Halloween Party coming up in October.

We didn’t do too bad considering the day was overcast with occasional showers.

As we were beginning to close up for the day, two squeaky clean young white girls who were showing just a little too much attention to what we were doing stopped by…without offering to buy anything of course.

Finally it came out when they offered to exchange cards and yes they were Mormons. They didn’t pay me much attention and I was getting too mad at the rude woman nearby smoking a cigarette. Which I can’t stand.

At any rate, I turned my attention back to the Mormon girls who by this time were singing the praises of going to Utah. Quickly I realized I didn’t really know much about how the Mormon faith approaches being transgender. I always assumed Mormons didn’t accept us. So when I got home, naturally I Googled it.

Here is a small look at what I found from the “Human Rights Campaign” , as well as a few other issues which might relate:

“The LDS Church follows strict rules of sexual conduct, including commandments against pre-marital sex. The Church distinguishes between same-sex attraction and behavior. As stated on its website, “The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is.” The LDS Church previously taught that same-sex attraction is a curable condition, but now states that “individuals do not choose to have such attractions” and that therapy focusing on “a change in sexual orientation” is “unethical.”

Those who do not act on their sexual identity, “enjoy full fellowship in the church, which includes holding the priesthood, carrying out callings, and attending the temple.” The Church considers Mormons who act on feelings of same-sex attraction to have disobeyed church teachings on morality and thus are subject to ecclesiastical discipline. They may be (1) placed on probation (for those desiring to change their behavior), (2) “disfellowshipped” (excluded from participating in the sacraments for a finite period of time while they correct their behavior), or (3) excommunicated.  Members who face a disciplinary council and refuse to repent—or insist that their feelings are integral to who they are—almost always are excommunicated. They lose their membership and cannot participate in any way other than attend meetings. They also lose the eternal ties that bind them to their families and their church.

The LDS Church has no official policy regarding transgender individuals.”

Now I wonder since I acted on my gender issues and transitioned does it make it wrong in the eyes of the Mormon’s?  Or, more precisely should I care? 

The easy answer is I don’t really care and maybe I was wrong. The Mormon girls were just doing their thing and really didn’t consider me an “enemy.” Or better yet, I enjoyed passing privilege  and they never even knew.

“Mo” Trans History

Just when I thought my old noggin remembered vividly almost all the transgender influences of my past, along comes two reminders from Cyrsti Condo readers jogging my memory on others. Here is comment number one from Calie:

“The woman who really hit me hard was Canary Conn. This had to be around 1978 and I saw her on a television talk show promoting her book. She was a pop singer, formerly known as Danny O’Connor. I did buy the book and read it twice. I was about the same age as her at the time. I knew what I was prior to that but Canary Conn made a profound impact on my life. I knew then that I had to transition but, for many reasons, never did. More info on Canary Conn here:
http://queermusicheritage-theblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/danny-oconnor-became-canary-conn.html”

And:

ConnieJune 12, 2019 at 1:47 AM“In 1963, I was a twelve-year-old, going it alone. I honestly don’t remember learning about anything having to do with transvestism; nothing that really affected what I was feeling about myself and my gender identity. I think that I was actually a transphobe back then, but I was already adept at applying makeup while behind the locked bathroom door.

I was, alternately, prideful at the young woman I saw in the mirror, and disgusted with myself for “giving in” to something for which I seemed unable to control. I really didn’t want to know of others who were like me, because I never could see myself being like anyone else. In retrospect, I knew, even then, that I was not a cross dresser. What I wanted to be was a woman, but not just during those times when I could sneak into the bathroom to look like one. Aside from Christine Jorgensen, I hadn’t heard of anyone who was even close to the way I felt about myself. 

It almost didn’t matter what, or who, I knew about when I turned seventeen. It was then that I embarked on a successful suppression that lasted for another seventeen years. When I broke the mold, I was still going it alone. I went back to hiding behind locked doors, but with a family and a job, there was so much more to be hiding from. My thought was, why would I seek out a role model who would abandon their established life for the selfish endeavor of being who she was? Well, now that I’m another 17 plus 17 years older (68), I’m pretty lucky to still have my family while being the not-so-selfish woman I am. It was not by any prominent figure that got me here, but I did get here with a little help from my friends – you included, girlfriend!”

Christine Jorgensen

Thanks sooo much!

Going Blogless

Sorry I missed a day blogging yesterday. The day turned out to be much busier than expected.

In the morning, I ended up going with Liz to two of her Doctors’ appointments. I was flattered when one of them even remembered my name.

In the afternoon, I watched the baseball game between the Cincinnati Reds and the Cleveland Indians on television.

And, at night, my partner Liz made me an offer I couldn’t refuse…a dinner out if I went with her to her martial arts class. I did feel a little guilty when I upgraded my evening outfit a bit to go out. But what the hell is a girl to do? The whole day went well though.

To make up for missing a day, I thought I would pass along a little background and a picture of the beautiful Australian Daniielle Alexis cable television star:

Down under viewers are used to seeing her in prison garb as one of the inmates on the cable TV drama Wentworth.

But this week, Daniielle Alexis showed fans a different side of herself by pouring her curves into a busty tube top in a display of self-empowerment on Instagram.

With her ample cleavage on full display, the 32-year-old wrote in the caption: ‘I questioned whether to wear this at first.’

Transgender History

One never knows when simply being older than everyone else could be a positive.

One of the questions at last night’s transgender – cross dresser support group meeting was what was your earliest remembrances of obtaining any information at all concerning your gender differences.

Being the oldest in the group, I was the only one to remember Virginia Prince , her  Transvestia Magazine and The Society for the Second Self… for male heterosexual cross dressers. The last issue was in 1979.

Over the years,  Virginia finally has began to receive the credit she deserved for being one of the pioneers of the cross dressing movement all the way to the beginnings of understanding the transgender movement. She came from a socially prominent family in Los Angeles and like so many of us struggled (and lost) a marriage because of her cross dressing. She began cross dressing when she went to a church Halloween party dressed as a woman and no one knew. So, again, many of us followed the same path as her.

I know I first obtained a copy of one her books “The Transvestite and His Wife” (1967) and immediately read it approximately three times. I also subscribed to “Transvestia” for awhile. Plus, my first dealings with other transvestites came from a Virginia Prince connected group in Cleveland, Ohio. So I owe a lot to her as a pioneer.

Virginia Prince

Virginia passed away in May of 2009. Follow the link above

Change in the Night?

Every once in awhile change seems to be upon us in the transgender world, even amidst all the horrible trans murders. It seems the “Craft” movie remake is attempting to become more inclusive and add a transgender Latina actress. 

If you are qualified, check out the ad below:


And if you aren’t qualified, like I am, check it out too!