Charlotte Clymer

Unless you are considerably better read on transgender affairs than I am, you probably don’t recognize the name. I didn’t until she burst into my conscience this morning on the CBS Sunday Morning Show.

As I was getting ready to undertake my Sunday morning chores (including a blog post…a fun chore) I paused to watch the “Opinion” segment of the show.

All of a sudden, host Jane Pauley was talking about resident rumps’ position on blocking transgender troops from serving. Then, she introduced Charlotte Clymer, a real transgender veteran.

I probably don’t have to tell you what happened next.  Charlotte proceeded to lay out her military experience explaining how when she folded a flag as an honor for a troop who paid the ultimate sacrifice, it didn’t matter if the person was white, black, gay or straight and finally transgender or not.

Of course she went on to point out “commander bone spurs” (rump) didn’t serve at all. Plus, rump was going against some of his top military generals who favored trans service.

I saw this literally about an hour ago. Approximately 10:15 AM, Eastern Standard Time.

I am also offering a video link to watch it, if it is still available,

Obviously, positive/strong opinions like Charlotte’s are hard to come by and so needed!

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Accepted!

I just received a message my workshop proposal for the Trans Ohio Symposium has been accepted. The symposium takes place this year again at THE Ohio State University Student Union center from April 26th through the 28th. I will find out later in the week when my workshop is scheduled.

As you may (or may not remember) my subject matter will center around navigating through severe Mtf Gender Dysphoria. (suicidal)

The whole weekend is beginning to come together for Liz and I. A week ago we secured a hotel reservation at a nice venue close enough to the campus which provides a free shuttle service to the union. Then, a couple days ago I reserved a rental car for the two hundred mile trip to and back from Cincinnati to Columbus for the symposium. Which saves extra wear and tear on the only high mileage car we have left. The other self destructed a couple weeks ago when the timing belt broke. Plus, we won’t have to worry about an untimely breakdown on the trip.

Now I have to concentrate on “fleshing” out the workshop proposal I sent. Fortunately, a trans friend of mine brought back a helpful little booklet I could use from the “Keystone Conference” in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania not long ago. It’s a great “cheat sheet” or for those of you who remember, a version of”Cliffs Notes” on transgender issues.

I really need to do a better job of presenting this year than last year…no crying!

Before I conclude this post, I would like to say hello to Angie in Kentucky!

Weekend Fun?

Or, things to do while I happen to be transgender. Mentally, I don’t make the separation much anymore. To me, I am just me, presenting feminine after so many years in gender hell. On occasion though, I will pause and look back on what a long strange trip it has been. I even considered posting my one and only “before” picture with this post but I won’t since it causes me to remember back to so many painful days.

At any rate, we are supposed to have a good Spring weather weekend around here for a change, so it’s time to dig through my wardrobe and pull out a few suitable outfits.

Friday night is the monthly dinner and music social with the cross dressers – transgender group I am a part of. I will have to check the weather but I might be able to get away with just a light sweater with jeans or leggings. I have a powder blue sweater Liz gave me that goes great with leggings and actuates my figure. I may have to break down and wear a bra with it though because it gets a bit “nipply” if you look at me from the wrong angle. I just don’t like to wear bras, preferring a more “natural” feel. The lighting where we go is normally low, so I should be able to wear the outfit without a jacket and do fine.

Saturday (as always} is errand day. We start with Liz’s martial arts class where she just became a recommended black belt and then go to the grocery store. This week though, we have another meeting for the Witches Ball Committee, which should be interesting because the head person quit in protest. So everyone will have to step up and take more responsibility. So far, my deal is being in charge of our Cincinnati Pride table. Not too bad.

Finally Sunday, we hope to get a head start on the yard and work outside. Boring but needed activity.

The Endocrinologist and the Sugar Daddy

My trip to the endocrinologist was certainly uneventful, until I met my sugar daddy afterwards. My Doc was OK with my request to increase my estrodial and perhaps decrease my testosterone. As we talked, I said I was satisfied where I was with my feminization process but then again feel like I hit a wall. So, her (the Doc’s) answer was maybe my testosterone was creeping up again and let’s get it checked. So, off I went to get the proper blood labs done.

I knew my day was going too good when the 75 mile trip up to the medical center was very easy for a change, I found a parking spot and the wait was minimal. By this time, it was past noon and I hoped the wait at the blood labs would be minimal too…wrong, the room was packed, standing room only almost for a seat. I settled in to lose an hour of my life I would never get back.

Straw Hat

As I sat there, a short time later, an older gentleman, well dressed with a straw hat sat down across the room. I didn’t give him much thought except you don’t see many guys at the VA who bother to dress up at all.

Approximately fifteen minutes later, he got up to go to the restroom and lost his seat. He then ended up sitting across from me. He was busily talking to a couple of other guys about the March Madness basketball games and was leaving me alone, for awhile. Then he said “Mam” what branch of the service did I serve in? I told him the Army and the chat was on. I found out he served in the Army in the mid 60’s in Panama, was 75, retired but still flipped houses for a living.

By that time, he had decided to quit talking to the other guys and turn his attention to me and all the time used the proper pronouns so I felt secure in the conversation.  I had to be careful though not to out myself.

If I mentioned at all I was drafted, that would do it. Of course women weren’t drafted into the service. On the fly I needed to make up a story about how I got into the military, or slightly twist the facts. Or shut up. I chose the latter but on the way home came up with a more palatable way of explaining what I did in the military.

To start with, some of you Cyrsti’s Condo regulars know, I was assigned to the American Forces Radio and Television Service (AFRTS). So, I actually worked for the Air Force for one year and the Army for two years. So, I could say I was almost a contract worker for the military. At least it may work in a pinch when I get into an in depth conversation with someone who I don’t want to automatically out myself with.

I must be getting dramatically better with my over all transgender presentation though. This makes the second time in a row other men have called me by the right pronouns and wanted to talk while I was waiting to give blood. Years ago, I was called a “fagg–t” in the same room.

Times do change, and if my blood comes back the right way, maybe I can change it a little bit faster.

What is Visibility?

Since it is our local Cincinnati Transgender Day of Visibility, perhaps it’s time to discuss what visibility really means.

Many would consider me to be really visible since I live full time as a trans woman. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. When and if I am successful in blending in seamlessly as a woman in society, I am not visible at all. Then, at other times I am in and out of another person’s reality so quickly, I am barely visible to them either. Maybe later they think there maybe have been something a little off kilter with their encounter with me. By that time though, I am long gone from their reality.

How about you though? Can you be visible and still be in your closet? Sure you can. Maybe you bide your time and support silently pro LGBTQ political candidates and laws. Who knows when you will need them? Plus, what about the gender fluid kids who are new in the system, they need our help.

Finally, is the church you go to anti gay and transgender or do you still support businesses such as Chick – Fil – A or Hobby Lobby who are actively involved in erasing our very existence.

You see, there is plenty to do to stay visible even though you may not be in the public’s eye

Endo Appointment

My endocrinologist appointment is coming up on Monday after Sunday’s Transgender Day of Visibility.

Hopefully, I am not expecting a whole lot of drama. I think I might ask to have my estrodial increased a little bit which I don’t think she (the nurse practitioner) will do until she sees a new set of blood labs. But I will still try.

I have written before how I think I have pretty much “hit the wall” with my feminization process.  I believe too, with the time I have been on HRT (approx. five years) I could have reached my maximum expectations as far as feminization goes.

It’s my personality though to keep asking for more. Primarily in my hips. I also think my overall body hair has made a slight rebound which of course I don’t want.

HRT

Actually, I am just whining and I think this is all coming along according to plan and I know too the whole process can take up to seven years. I know also, much is dependent on me to lose a few pounds again before summer to give me a better overall figure in a couple of my fave form fitting maxi dresses.

I will let you know how it all goes.

Are Females Women?

This Cyrsti’s Condo post was actually from 2013 but I thought it was still relevant today:

Recently on one of the thousand of television shows I watch, I heard the comment “She’s a female but that doesn’t make her a woman” Unless I was missing something, a genetic woman said it. So true it is.

Since that time, I have been bouncing around the idea of another post in my noggin called “Are Genetic Women Human Too?”

Let’s see if I can toss them both into the Cyrsti’s Condo kitchen blender and see if anything good comes out.

The last time I looked both genders are human!  I knew all that college biology I almost flunked would come back to help me! YAY!  OK, back to the blender. Females aren’t necessarily women but yes they are still human. Now, lets toss in some spices from our culture. Both are fairly rare, so we may have to use a lot!

The first spice is a little gritty and comes from the base of a pedestal.  As I jump around the never never land of the Internet, I still am dazzled by the sisters in my culture who hoist females up on a pedestal for worship purposes. Certainly females are the “keepers of the flame” currently in our race because of their birthing ability. Past that kids, the days of wives in suburbia living fairy tale lives are gone and females are out in the world competing hard to make it.  But if want to put them in your bubble bath world- that’s cool.  This is a large pedestal so the little bit of it we use won’t affect it’s stability.

The second spice is also so very rare and maybe a little sweet if you find it. The spice is the very mystical “if I could find a woman to show me “the ropes” of a feminine existence, I could shortcut the real learning process, and get to the “promised land.”

As you could tell, I may be a tad jaded in my assessment of the spices needed so I’m going to add an extra helping of chocolate to flavor our drink.

Now, unless you are as scattered as I am, you need a bit of translation. Very simply female is a birth issue, woman is a lifestyle choice.  The same as being born male but your transgender noggin is screaming NO! Secondly, females or women do come from another planet than men but it is not the pink warm and fuzzy world you put up on a pedestal and proclaim undying loyalty to. And finally, there are a few of the magical mystery women willing to take you to the other side. You may live with one and bless her heart! Unfortunately from my perch here in the “web-o-sphere” the spousal response I hear most about is “Take your dresses and the next sound you will hear will be from my divorce lawyer.”

So there you go. I hope you enjoyed your beverage.  On occasion I try to “bundle” several thoughts and tie them in with feedback I get here in Cyrsti’s Condo and a couple other places I participate in.  The final parting thought I can leave you with is: the next time you are out and feeling really insecure about yourself as a woman-take heart, there could be plenty of females around you feeling the same about themselves.

Now have some class and quit making noise sucking on that straw!

How Quiet Can it Be?

I am looking ahead to another fairly quiet weekend. Except for Sunday.

This Sunday is the Transgender Day of Visibility in Cincinnati and we (Liz and I) plan on going to it. The weather is supposed to be chilly but fairly clear, so it will be interesting to see how many people show up. More interesting perhaps will be the number of sponsoring entities who set up.

 As I have written before, the professional baseball team (in a good year) is playing a few blocks away from the event, so it will be interesting how many people get scared away. One way or another, I look for a fairly good turnout. Plus, all the cross dressers in their heels may not want to walk the amount of distance it will take to get to the event location around a big downtown fountain.

Also, I have not totally ruled out Saturday night. It
is always a possibility for a social event too. The cross dresser who has had this huge crush on Liz has seemingly found another lust object, so the invitations may be on the decrease.

What a shame! 🙂

Don’t be a Heroine

No matter how you figure it, just being a woman and losing your male privilege can bring possible safety problems. I have written a number of times here in Cyrsti’s Condo about potential problems I ran (or walked) into as I began to transgender into a more feminine lifestyle. Very quickly, I was corned at a party by huge admirer and had to be bailed out by my deceased wife. The other happened late at night on an urban downtown sidewalk in front of a gay venue. Both were really ill advised but I managed to escape unscathed with a new admiration for what women go through. I hitched up my big girl panties and always asked for help in getting to my car.

How this post came about though mainly comes from my group’s moderator calling a bigoted hater an ass when he called her an “it” and a freak. This all came in a bar and very easily could have resulted in creased violence to her (the moderator).  Finally, it all finished up with him being arrested and being barred from the pub. She was lucky and the band even stopped briefly to see if she was alright.

Another person with a background in entertaining the public in a band in bars is Connie. Here is one of her experiences which came in reference to my post “Back in the Day.”

“Speaking of “back in the day,” I remember one time (mid-seventies) when I observed a disagreement – turned knife fight – in a bar, as I was playing music on the stage. We didn’t stop playing, though, even as the EMTs came in to care for the guy lying in a pool of blood. Like with the band on the sinking Titanic, we were urged, by the manager, to keep playing – as if everything were normal. We learned, later, that the stabbing victim had been pronounced DOA. This whole event has been etched into my mind, and, although I keep it in the back, I know that it has come to the front every time I have had to deal with some jerk who has a problem with my gender status. I would never take it for granted that anyone else would step up or step in to protect me, so I do my best to keep negative confrontations from escalating. I want to ensure that my music keep going, after all”.

Self preservation should always be our goal! I know in my case, HRT has taken a toll on my old body anyhow and I better be able to get out of situations with my wits not my brawn. Which any woman learns at a young age anyhow.

As I said earlier, I was fortunate to learn it all tje relatively easy way!

“Back in the Day”

At last night’s transgender – cross dresser support group meeting (as predicted), I had to go “back in the day” to remind the predominately younger group of how difficult it was to even be a transvestite. As you may or may not remember, back in the fifties and into the early sixties in some places, it was a crime to even be caught dressing as a woman (if you were a man) in public. I also brought up the days before Al Gore invented the internet and how in the dark our closets became. In fact, another of one of the older attendee’s mentioned the days of combing through the local library only to find a book on cross dressing, then be afraid to be seen reading it.

Indeed things are better for the average trans or cross dressing person in today’s society. Even the moderator commented after her glowing remarks about going to the Pennsylvania “Keystone Conference” last week that her ugly encounter with the gender bigot actually finished with a positive experience. It seems, even the band stopped to make sure everything was fine with her.

Being the bitch that I am sometimes, I added an experience shared with me by my hairdresser with the transgender son. He is fourteen and was in the middle of his first serious relationship with a cis-girl. Everything was fine until her Mother got involved and broke them up by using the religion card. I can think of nothing worse since where they live is also where the “Leelah Alcorn” tragedy

Leelah Alcorn

happened. Leelah was the teenage transgender girl who committed suicide several years ago by stepping out in front of a semi truck on a local interstate. All because her parents wouldn’t accept her…mainly for strict religious reasons.

A tragic end to such a young life.

Other than all of that, the meeting moved along well and Jennifer from Oregon was actually back for a second meeting.

It all ended on a humorous note when several of the group volunteered to take her out for a “Cincinnati Three Way.” If you didn’t know, Cincy is known for it’s highly unique Greek/Armenian
chili. A “Three Way” is chili with spaghetti and onions. I hope she enjoyed it!

Finally, leave it to Connie to come up with this:”So, are you the Obi-Wanda-Kenobi of the support group? ”

I guess so!