Halloween Dreams

 It’s difficult to believe but October has arrived again. Around here at least, for the most part, the weather has done her part to welcome in the Fall season. 

Most importantly, October brings with it the very important Halloween holiday. At least it’s a holiday of sorts to most novice transgender or crossdressing women. It’s a chance to break out of closets everywhere and experience the world as your authentic self. Who you were born to be. 

I know Halloween was very important to me in my progression out of the closet. Through my so called “costumes”, I learned many things including if I dressed appropriately, other people would mistake me for a woman. It took me awhile to understand how deeply ingrained my desire to lead a feminine life was. Finally, I came to the conclusion all those years I was living as a cross dresser alright, just not as a woman. I was cross dressing as a man.

Throughout the month of October I will try to share the most impactful Halloweens I experienced. Very quickly my thrill in presenting as a convincing woman came full circle. I found my impossible dream of living full time as a transgender woman may indeed be possible. 

Also, if you have a Halloween story, please send it along!

No Plain Jane

Jane Noury

 Amazon Prime Video has announced the new coming-of-age docuseries Always Jane, following transgender teen Jane Noury and her journey to live her most authentic life.

Premiering on Friday, November 12, the four-part series will take an intimate look at the Noury family’s lives as they tackle obstacles with unconditional love and support.The show focuses on Jane Noury who lives with her family in rural New Jersey.

Like any teenager, she must balance friends, family, and school. It’s not the easiest time to grow up but Jane is able to set her sights on life beyond her family.

Loss of Status

I have written numerous times here in Cyrsti’s Condo concerning how crucial it is to be careful when you first begin to explore the feminine world. 

You lose many things when you cross the gender frontier and lose your male privileges.  The most important one to consider is your own personal security. In society, the feminine gender is simply the one which becomes the target for physical and emotional abuse.

My idea’s on the subject were brought up again when I read a post from Mandy and her experience in a coin shop. To make a long story short, she encountered a questionable man who was trying to buy her coins instead of the store. Mandy has her own very long hair, painted nails and has no problem “passing” as a woman. On this occasion, perhaps “passing” could be the least of her problems. Fortunately the store clerk got rid of the man in question and Mandy even noted his license plate when he left.

Over the years I have noted my own close calls with the public when I first began to come out. In particular, I wrote about the near altercation I had with two men outside a gay bar late one night in downtown Dayton, Ohio. I paid my way out of that with the last five dollars I had in my purse. The next time I went to the same area in my long black skirt with a deep slit, matching sleeveless tank top and long straight flowing dark wig, I asked for support when I left. I was meeting two lesbians and I asked them to walk me to my car. Which they gladly did.

All transgender women should learn quickly to park in lighted areas, as close as possible to your destination. In other words, do not make yourself a target. It’s a double edged sword because if you look too good you could be a target. Or, if someone clocks you as a transgender woman, trouble could erupt again.

Some trans women I know, as well as cis women too go to the drastic step of carrying self protection. From pepper spray to fire arms I have heard it all. My partner Liz (who has martial arts training) has purchase long pointed objects to go on our key chains in case something happens. 

Also, bars and taverns around the country are placing warning signs in the women’s restrooms to provide possible help to women in need.(above)

How sad is it any of this has to happen. Or sadder yet I have to write about it.

Just be aware when you transition, your greatest privilege loss could be your personal security. 

Sunshine Day

Pre Weight loss photo. Credit Cyrsti Hart

Sunday turned out to be a wonderful day for several reasons. 

First of all, it was another beautiful autumn day with highs in the mid 70’s (F) 

Also, for some unknown reason, Liz’s 23 year old son invited us out to lunch. It was one of those days when my gender dysphoric self gave me a break and I thought my feminine self was able to shine through. Ironically, even my face is thinning out again, which accentuates my cheek bones. Other than that, I chose a nice pair of leggings and lightweight lacy top. I even got real fancy and wore a pair of earrings which I try to do on occasion to insure the holes in my ears don’t grow shut. (They haven’t). All in all, I felt good which always is the number one accessory a transgender woman can have. 

Once we arrived at the restaurant we had gone to for years, we found out they were closing early due to staffing issues so we had to hurry our lunch. It vaguely occurred to me to go somewhere else but I didn’t say anything and we stayed. Ultimately we ended up taking most of our food to go. The disappointment came when there was very little public to see or to be seen.  Even though all my attention to detail with my appearance seemingly was wasted, the whole experience was good for my soul.  

Also yesterday another rarity happened.  The Cincinnati NFL football team went to their arch-rival Pittsburgh Steeler homefield and won for the first in like fifteen years. So life was good again.

With my birthday coming up in the not so distant future, I should be able to talk Liz into a special night or two.

Transgender Ally’s

Saturday was National Daughters’ Day. Along the way here in Cyrsti’s Condo, I have not been shy writing about my daughters acceptance of her transgender parent. 

I was fortunate when not only did my daughter accept me, she wanted to help me. On occasion she tried to go too far. She was going to help me with my wardrobe and appearance. As I recently wrote about, she gifted me an appointment to her decidedly upscale hair salon. As I said before she came with me and added another layer to me being equally excited and terrified. I distinctly remember the second time I went back for a cut and color and suffered the “sticker shock” of being presented a bill for 175 dollars, not including tip. Due to financial considerations, it was my last visit there! Plus, I moved away. 

Of course my most influential dealing with allies came when I started to actually present my feminine self to the world. I made a couple of cis woman friends through my dealings at a local sports bar I went to and met my current partner Liz on an on line dating site. Liz essentially became my most influential ally when she told me to live totally as a transgender woman because she had always seen me as a woman. 

Over the years though, not unlike almost everything else in the transgender world, allies have come under scrutiny. It’s become more difficult for potential trans allies to comprehend the intricacies of pronoun usage as an example. Plus just imagine if you were on the outside looking in and trying to understand the always evolving alphabet in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Then again, what if your child is trying to tell you they are gender fluid? 

Somewhere along the way I think we have lost some of our perspective on what an ally actually is. As in everything else in our world, being an ally evolves too.

In the meantime, I love my daughter Andrea and my partner Liz very much! 

Fall has Fallen

Old Denim Skirt Photo: Credit Cyrsti Hart

Finally it looks like what is called Indian Summer around here has come and gone. Indian summer describes the last gasp of summer like weather. It’s always been a pleasant time for me, as it’s the time I take to re-assess my fall wardrobe of light weight sweaters, leggings and even boots.

Early looks into my wardrobe tell me it’s time to do some shopping. Not only do I need some new key pieces, I need some new jeans in a smaller size. The diet is working plus my hips are continuing to change due to hormone replacement therapy. Since my very early days of transgender transition, I have never liked the idea of extensive shapewear, Relying totally on the what you see is what you get theory. For the most part I think it worked. Plus my favorite outfit was a long patterned top paired with a jean skirt. Since everyone told me I had good legs it made sense to show them off.

Even back then, I was doing dieting and managed to shed nearly fifty pounds from the 275 I weighed when I started to seriously transition,

All of this takes me back to my current dilemma of having a fall wardrobe deficit. Thanks to my cats claws, she has effectively ruined several pairs of leggings which I wear. Leggings fortunately, are a relatively inexpensive replacement item. After deeper inspection, I found I could use a couple more sweaters to wear. Since I am a big thrift store shopper, it may be time for another trip.

Seasonal wardrobe changes have always been fun for me. One of my favorite times to be a transgender woman. Being full time as long as I have been now just adds to the challenges.

Transgender Problem in Thailand

Nur Sajat Rated Xtra Press Conference

Thailand is considering whether to deport a transgender businesswoman who was convicted this month of illegal entry and is wanted in Malaysia for insulting Islam, a case that has put a spotlight on Malaysia’s approach to gender identity.

Cosmetics company owner Nur Sajat, (above) as she prefers to be known, fled from Malaysia this year. Thai police confirmed that Sajat was arrested this month and was found guilty by a court of illegal entry and subsequently released on bail.

In Malaysia, she faces up to three years in jail and or a fine for dressing as a woman at a religious event in 2018, which she pleaded not guilty to, according to news reports.

Transgender Talent

 Transgender Talent, the transgender owned and operated management and production company, is looking to help Hollywood get better at portraying transgender and nonbinary characters on screen with the launch of a new consulting arm.

The company, which represents talent including David Makes Man’s Jamie K. Brown and The Craft: Legacy’s Zoey Luna, has opened the consulting business to assist the entertainment industry’s drive to increase diversity and inclusion both in front of and behind the camera.

Run by Ann Thomas, (above) an activist, and second-generation transgender person who has worked on HLN series’ Transgender in America, the division is an expansion of its medical education division which educates and advises UCLA medical students on transgender patient care.

It’s a Material World

And, as Madonna would say, I am a material girl. Then again, don’t all of us have to be one way or another? Unless you are living off the grid and probably aren’t reading this at all. 

Picture after first hair appointment
Credit: Cyrsti Hart

Actually, I am a very basic transgender woman. Give me a comfortable pair of jeans or leggings, add a tank top and tennis shoes and I am happy and secure as the transgender woman I am. Ironically as basic as I am, I still dress more femininely than my partner Liz who is a cis gender woman. Meaning she was assigned female at birth.

Backtracking a bit, when I first began to explore the feminine world in public, I was much more materialistic. All my accessories such as jewelry, purses, shoes etc. were so much more important to me. All my attention to detail worked too when I was complimented on my appearance by other women. 

All went well until I really started to transition, aided by the effect of hormone replacement therapy. One of the first changes that happened was I was fortunate and my hair really started to grow. So much so that my daughter gifted me my first visit to her upscale hair salon as a birthday present after I had come out to her. The visit remains in my mind as one of the most exciting yet scary experiences of my life as I crossed the gender frontier. Having to walk the “gauntlet” of women who had nothing else to do but to watch and judge me was amazing pressure to say the least. 

I learned too, it was a material world when all of the sudden I was paying to have someone else take care of my hair. My old twenty dollar haircuts at a barber shop were long gone. Also when I was going out, I had to learn there was a back to my head also. All those years of wearing a wig had spoiled me. Of course I could simply turn the wig around on it’s stand and brush it out. 

Another of the main problems I faced as I MtF gender transitioned was the cost of trying to maintain two wardrobes. Along the way I was biased because shopping for the feminine side was so much more fun and satisfying. Once I settled into my feminine natural role and quit cross dressing as a guy, of course the costs went down.

I suppose it could be argued we all live in a material world. Transgender women may experience it all in such a unique way.