Assertive Comments

 I received several comments concerning my post “Revoked” which centered around being ignored as a woman. 

The first comes from Connie: “It’s OK for a woman to be assertive. She may be perceived to be a bitch in doing so, but if it’s by someone being paid to do a job, I don’t care what they may think of me. Arguing with the worker probably wouldn’t get the desired results, anyway. Of course, calling a manager labels a woman as a “Karen” these days. Still, these are people who will, most likely, never be seen again.
There is also the matter of ageism that plays out in getting decent service oftentimes. I’d have to believe that a delivery man would bend over backward for a young woman for just her smile. Older people are seen as being easier to take advantage of.”
So true! Age does factor in! Thanks for the comment.
The second comes from Michelle: 

“It is “HELL” when you are treated like you don’t know any better than the clowns that take it for grant it that as a woman you may know more than they think. I sometimes revert to dressing down to look somewhat manly when we have a repairman show up just so we are not taken advantage of. After they leave my, partner just sits there laughing at my shenanigans’.

I’m fortunate in that my partner picks up the slack in some of the more intense situations. Thanks for the comment!

Patch Day

Photo Credit Cyrsti Hart

 Every Tuesday and Friday during the week I change out my Estradiol patches. 

Over the years I have come to accept my femininizing meds as the most important medication I take except my bi-polar meds. 

Approximately eight years ago I started down the hormone replacement therapy path. I began with a doctor who prescribed minimum doses until we could see how my body adapted. Other than a six month stoppage due to another health problem, I have been on the femininizing meds ever since.

Every once in awhile I do write about the changes here in Cyrsti’s Condo but I try not to because results vary so completely among users. Plus, since I have such a difficult time remembering last week, recalling exact times and dates of HRT changes are difficult to come up with.

I do have several thoughts on the timings to pass along, although your results could vary. First of all, make certain you have a medical professional to monitor your dosage. Estrogen is a powerful drug and abuse can cause you health problems.

Now, lets get back to the matter at hand. Most likely since I was in my early sixties when I started, changes didn’t take long to appear. My natural supply of testosterone was on the way down anyhow. What I remember most was how my breasts started to change, along with my emotions it seemed. I prefer to describe the whole experience as my world was suddenly softening. I rediscovered long hidden emotions which went all the way to experiencing hot flashes which didn’t do me any good when I discovered I was cold all the time and women weren’t just making it up.

I was fortunate in that I inherited a full head of hair which started to grow longer and thicker with HRT. Body hair started to thin except for my beard which had never been very thick to start with. All of this  went along with skin softening. Amazingly, my appearance took on a more feminine look with new softer lines.

One other thing which never changed was my voice. Along the way I did try vocal lessons but wasn’t really satisfied with the results.

As I look back  on all the years I experienced on  hormone replacement therapy, I am so thankful my body was able to accept the changes it went through. 

Every patch day, I pause and thank the Goddess for her help in guiding me down a path not many humans experience. All of which is dependent of my little patches. Then again, I have  an appointment coming up next week with my Endocrinologist, she holds the ultimate future of my journey in her hands. 

In many ways I feel the patches have provided me with an exciting yet terrifying magic carpet ride.

Monday Inspiration

This is a good one for everyone. 

If you are already out, good for you. You have paved the way for other transgender women and men in the future.

If you have not had the chance to live as your authentic gender self, don’t give up. Many times the world can change quickly and you will have a chance. I am an example of that.

Another important consideration to not forget is even though you are not out, don’t forget to support others who are. Many times you can do it at the ballot box.

In the mean time, appreciate your day!

Revoked

 This morning my partner Liz and I had a new refrigerator delivered and it was a clown show.

First of all, the refrigerator was damaged. Since our hands were tied and we needed cooling for our food of course, we have to wait two more days for another unit. So we accepted the one which was delivered. 

The clowns who delivered it weren’t done though. We paid extra for them to take the old refrigerator away and they left it. When questioned, they said they couldn’t get it past the gate the new one just came through. 

I just couldn’t accept the fact the whole process would have been different if there would have been a “man” in the house. I felt helpless to provide much backing. 

I know “back in the day” as a guy I could have made a difference. Overall, I still wouldn’t trade where I am.

I knew going into my transgender transition, losing my male privilege’s would be the most difficult part.  

Fellow Trans Vet

 Georgette, a fellow “more mature” transgender woman sent this comment in from the “Medium” writing format.:

“I read most all of these Late in Life Transition stories, Not for any real knowledge, But to get some perspective of what took so many years for so many to finally make the jump Gender Wise,

I am one of the few that made that jump over 45+ years ago, Like so many others during my youth in the 50s-60s I couldn’t understand what was “wrong” with me,

I was accidentally outed when in the US Navy (69-74) around 72/73, I was sure my life was ended but the Navy surprised me and was not discharged,

Because of that I had to find out all I could at the time, TG was not in much use yet, TS and “Gender Identity Disorder” were just starting to be understood more,

The result was from 74-77 I quickly made all the Transition happen with the Final SRS in 77, And lived with my partner (Also Post TS) till she died in 2014,

Since coming back out to a much changed LGBT+ world, I have met SO many (Way too many) late bloomers,

Much of what I have heard from them is “If I had known back then what is known now life would have different”,

I have a hard time with relating to most all of the current TG/TS people that I meet,

I will read some more on your travels in all this.”

Thanks for the comment! I was in the Army from 1972-1975.

Transgender Royalty

Evan (left)

Olympia High School in Orlando, Fla., has crowned its first transgender homecoming queen.

Evan Bialosuknia, a 17-year-old senior, ran her campaign on social media with help from the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance.

“Every year, a beautiful girl wins homecoming queen, and that’s how it always is,”  told CBS News. “Ever since I was little, I was like, ‘I want to be a queen, I want to be that star in a moment of glory.’”

Last week, Bialosuknia “made history,” as she wrote on Instagram, joining an increasing number of LGBTQ students across the country joining homecoming courts and prom royalty.

Mentors

Myself, Nikki and Kim (left) photo credit Cyrsti Hart

Referring back to a Cyrsti’s Condo post concerning several cis women friends I had when I first was learning to play in the women’s sandbox, the term “mentors” came up. 

As I thought about it, I became aware mentors could be a very vague term. For example, many could consider a mentor who aides you with your appearance, make up and clothes. 

As you can tell by the photo above, my friends did not emphasize much make up at all. I was the only one who did and I did it all myself.

Of course by that time, I had years of practice. 

What my cis friends did teach me was how to value my self as a transgender woman.  Since they both were lesbians, I learned I did not need a man to validate me as a woman. 

This picture pre dates my relationship with my current partner Liz, so by the time I met her I had a clearer idea of who I was and how I fit in in a feminine world. 

My advice is to be your own mentor. Practice makes perfect as far as your appearance goes. Plus, once you make your way past the appearance phase, the real work begins. Learning to rebuild your personality away from when you tried and failed to live as a guy is a major task. One example is communicating  woman  to woman and dressing to blend. I learned the hard way not totally accept the compliment of looking great. Great for what? A man cross dressed as a woman? 

Granted, finding a mentor of any form is rough. I was just fortunate when I threw caution to the wind and put myself out in the world.  When you find a mentor of any sort, put your old male ego aside and learn all you can.

Great Point!

 Recently I wrote a post called “A Bridge too Far” here in Cyrsti’s Condo. Along the way in the post about novice transgender women facing the difficult task and decision to fully come out of their closet, I left out a very important point. 

Paula was kind enough to comment on it:

“Most of the things we are frightened of never happen! I suspect that it is fear that held a lot of back, yet it is also our example that it makes it all less scary for those following behind us.


Despite what the haters and the popular news media might like us to belief it is my experience that the vast majority of people, especially cis women! will be our supporters, our helpers, and our defenders. They understand that that they lose nothing, no rights, no security, by accepting us into “the sisterhood”.


As I said, great points. Thanks Paula. 

A Bridge too Far

 It’s no big secret crossing the gender frontier to actually come out and follow a feminine transgender lifestyle is a daunting and huge move. 

Personally, I am one to build too many bridges to jump off of, whether I need to or not. I suffer from anxiety along with other mental disorders. In other words I obsess completely and come up with extra scenarios. Most of which will never come true, yet I spend too much time worrying abut them.

For years I looked at the decision to do the right thing and live as a woman as sliding down a slippery slope towards a gender cliff. From which there was no return. It was easy to play the safe game and try to live as both genders…until it almost killed me. I couldn’t take it anymore and took advantage of the gender bridge I was seeing. All of a sudden, instead of jumping off of it, the bridge was providing me a pathway to gender freedom and I could live as my authentic self. 

To make a long story short, I was able to turn a tragic circumstance into a positive when my wife of twenty five years passed away. She never accepted me being transgender and of course the whole situation caused tremendous stress within the relationship. As I built my gender bridge and was beginning to explore the feminine world, all along the ultimate resolution (her death) was the last thing which would happen.

Bridges are funny things. Some are tall, long and scary, others are short, low and non threatening. The gender bridge is definitely is one of the scary ones. Once I decided to cross my bridge, along came hormone replacement therapy compliments of the Veterans Administration to help me. As they say, timing is everything. When I needed it most, my physical persona began to take a decided change to the feminine side. 

I also was able to find several close cis woman friends who accepted me as one of their own and I learned many unwritten rules of the feminine gender.

Hopefully as you view your bridge, it is not as scary as it appears to be. Keep in mind too, what seems like an impossible crossing today may change tomorrow.