A Bridge too Far

 It’s no big secret crossing the gender frontier to actually come out and follow a feminine transgender lifestyle is a daunting and huge move. 

Personally, I am one to build too many bridges to jump off of, whether I need to or not. I suffer from anxiety along with other mental disorders. In other words I obsess completely and come up with extra scenarios. Most of which will never come true, yet I spend too much time worrying abut them.

For years I looked at the decision to do the right thing and live as a woman as sliding down a slippery slope towards a gender cliff. From which there was no return. It was easy to play the safe game and try to live as both genders…until it almost killed me. I couldn’t take it anymore and took advantage of the gender bridge I was seeing. All of a sudden, instead of jumping off of it, the bridge was providing me a pathway to gender freedom and I could live as my authentic self. 

To make a long story short, I was able to turn a tragic circumstance into a positive when my wife of twenty five years passed away. She never accepted me being transgender and of course the whole situation caused tremendous stress within the relationship. As I built my gender bridge and was beginning to explore the feminine world, all along the ultimate resolution (her death) was the last thing which would happen.

Bridges are funny things. Some are tall, long and scary, others are short, low and non threatening. The gender bridge is definitely is one of the scary ones. Once I decided to cross my bridge, along came hormone replacement therapy compliments of the Veterans Administration to help me. As they say, timing is everything. When I needed it most, my physical persona began to take a decided change to the feminine side. 

I also was able to find several close cis woman friends who accepted me as one of their own and I learned many unwritten rules of the feminine gender.

Hopefully as you view your bridge, it is not as scary as it appears to be. Keep in mind too, what seems like an impossible crossing today may change tomorrow.


  1. Sara Moser says:

    I admire your courage!

    1. cyrsti says:

      Thank you so much!

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