So many transgender people, women and men have a difficult time finding love as their authentic selves. Why is that so?
I think the path we have to take to arrive where we are takes an enormous toll. Take my journey as an example. My wife of twenty five years accepted me being a cross dresser but drew the line at any suggestion of the transgender word. We fought tooth and nail primarily when I became moody due to my gender issues or dysphoria. Little did I know, life would intervene, she would pass away, leaving me so alone.
I was down on myself and had very much given up on finding anyone who would accept me the way I was. I know too I wasn’t alone, so many transgender women and trans men are fated to follow a similar path.
I am a believer in you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. During all the messy breakups due to transgender issues, both spouses come out deeply scarred. Then, when you add in the affects of certain social media sites and everything becomes worse. Too many “male admirers” seeking gratuitous attention. Too few seeking solid relationships.
I went through all of that through a myriad of dating sites while all along I told the truth about me being transgender. At the same time, I was hanging out in straight sports bars as I went out to be alone. What happened was I was destined to meet two cis women (lesbians) who I became friends with. Primarily due to the fact I maintained my interest in sports as they did.
Then there was Liz. Literally she picked me up off a dating site when she responded to one of my pictures saying I had sad eyes. Ten years later, we are still together.
From all the sorrow and angst I see on certain social media sites, I was very fortunate. Once I learned to accept and love myself for what I was, I was able to accept the friendship and love from others.
Certainly, it is not easy to love a transgender person. So many are too touchy about their pasts to easily let love happen.
I do think though, more and more it is happening and I am no longer the exception to the rule.