Amanda not so long ago wrote into my email describing a few of her experiences using the women’s room when nature calls and she has to simply go to the bathroom.
She also asked for some of my experiences. First of all, I haven’t used a man’s restroom for over a decade now but my introduction into using the women’s room wasn’t an easy one. I have written before when I had the police called on me several times when all I was trying to do was relieve myself of excess beer.
Looking back, realistically, I brought on most of the problems I had upon myself. As I explored the feminine world in the early days, primarily I fell victim to ill fitting wigs which were poor fashion choices. Until I was able to grow my own hair, was I able to present more effectively as a woman. Which in turn enabled me to have my own female rest room “pass”. No pun intended.
Other factors which helped me immensely were how I viewed and adapted myself to the new rest room etiquette I was being exposed to. I made sure I was neat and tidy as I took care of essential business even to the point of trying to duplicate the sound of women peeing in the toilet bowl as close as I could. Plus, just to make sure I was prepared years ago, I always carried a feminine hygiene product in my purse in case anyone asked to try me.
The rest was relatively easy. I had to learn to adjust my urges to the normally longer lines to the women’s restrooms. Plus I had to learn to make eye contact and not be afraid to converse with other women in line.
Finally, I had to make sure I quickly checked my hair and makeup as I always washed my hands and quickly (or efficiently) left and returned to my seat. To this day though, I still retain the scars of my early experiences in the rest rooms. I always check to see if anyone is going out of their way to stare at me or even glare.
I must say though, along the way, similar to the rest of the transgender journey I have chosen, I have been exposed to a number of humorous or even surprising rest room experiences. The most interesting one was at a Cincinnati Pride
event a couple summers ago when one of the few free standing restrooms available was half closed due to a hornet infestation. All the men were forced to use the women’s room and the response was comical and classic as toilet paper was passed along the line. The most surprising experience I ever had was when I was at a concert one night and was waiting in the woman’s room line. Once I finally made it close enough to the room itself, I observed a woman swinging from one of the stalls trying to break the lock off the door. My ideas of women respecting their restroom more than men was forever shattered.
Overall, I think attitudes over restroom usage have definitely lightened up. Plus the number of gender neutral restrooms have increased.
Thanks Amanda for the question.