Security

Over the years here in Cyrsti’s Condo I have tried to make it a point to write about our security when we leave the comfort of male privilege and attempt the gender journey into the feminine world. I found out the hard way it is something to be taken very seriously. 

Older Redhaired Photo from Trans Ohio

As I have written before, my first real foray into possible feminine violence came at a party my deceased wife and I went to years ago in nearby Columbus, Ohio. For the evening, against my wife’s wishes, I wore a very short mini dress to the party. As much as I hated to admit it later, she was right. It turns out I was cornered in a hallway by a much bigger crossdresser “admirer”. It seemed to me before I knew it he had me stuck in a physical situation I couldn’t extract myself from. About the time he was seemingly going in for the kill, my wife appeared and diffused the situation. That was the good news, the bad news was she wouldn’t let me live it down my skirt was too short. This was many years ago. Way before the “me too” movement and other causes which focused on how women still shouldn’t suffer sexual abuse no matter what we wear. 

The bottom line for me was the realization all of a sudden I could be overcome by a bigger person and forced into a compromising sexual situation.

The second lesson I learned  could have involved more physical violence.  It was late one night on a downtown urban street in Dayton, Ohio. I was by myself leaving a gay venue when I was approached by two men. To make another long story short, I ended up being cornered again and was able to defuse the situation by giving them my last five dollars. Lesson learned, the next time I was there, I asked for a trans guy I knew if he would walk me to my car. Which he did. 

I learned the hard way why cis women live their lives living with a totally different awareness than men. It goes way past walking past the leering stares of men in a construction project to the prospect of losing so much more of your personal security.

It’s one of the most important aspects as you transition into a feminine world. 
     

4 Comments

  1. There is a lot of truth to this. Part of my own desire to transition is the desire to have the weakness you describe. Part of me wonders if that weakness that comes with a feminine body is not part of why society seems to hate trans MTF so much–that you would willingly give up power and physical strength must seem ludicrous to some…for me, feeling vulnerable is part of the goal.

    1. Great comment! I think early in my transition, feeling vulnerable in potentially dangerous situations did validate my femininity. Later as I grew into a self perceived stronger personality of my own, my femininity was validated by other factors. Plus I became more and more scared concerning my own personal security.

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