Recently I wrote a post roughly equating our transgender gender struggles with breaking out of an egg. Connie took the post another direction:
” All too often, after breaking out of a misplaced egg, one can see her/him-self as an ugly duckling. It takes more effort to learn how to be different from others, yet still fit in. After all, as difficult as it may be to break out of the egg, leaving the nest can be more daunting – especially when others see you as not conforming. Learning that you are destined to become a beautiful swan among ducks comes with the confidence that you can still swim in the same pond – even if you can’t quite quack like a duck. I’m sure there are still those who would define themselves as cross dresser
Increasingly, though, there are those who are referring to themselves as bi-gender. That is, when they present as female they feel to be female beyond what the clothing may indicate; but they enjoy living as their male-assigned gender the rest of the time. I tried that for many years until I admitted to myself that I did not enjoy living a male existence (despite the privilege that went with it). I realize that this does not make me “transer” than anyone else, and I can only allow each individual to self-identify, just as I expect them to allow me to do so.
I was once told that I couldn’t transition properly because I have to wear a wig to cover my male-pattern bald head, and can’t undergo HRT or surgeries due to a medical condition. The exact wording this person used was, “You’ll never be any more than a professional cross dresser.” Thank goodness I know that only I can crack my own egg, and nobody else will shatter it. To that person, I can only say, “The yolk’s on you!” :-)”
Great references! Thanks my swan friend!
Paula also added a comment about the growing pains of coming out of a transgender shell:
“I think we all made some howlers, but then I was making my teenage mistakes in my 50s when they’re harder to hide.If the term “cross dresser” goes the same way as Transvestite, how will I be able to update my joke ~ “What’s the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual? ~ About five years”
No Paula, I think your joke can stay the same 🙂