As I have written here in Cyrsti’s Condo in the past, slowly over the years I have been coming to the realization for me Christmas has nearly surpassed Halloween as the most important holiday for me as a transgender woman.
Years ago, as I started to live a life in the public’s eye as a feminine person, one night in particular stands out as terrifying and exciting.
Very close to where we lived in Ohio, there was a very small village with a working vintage mill which featured a huge Christmas display. As a guy with my wife, I had been there several times but something was always missing. By now, you can probably guess, I desperately wanted to be one of the women strolling around enjoying the crisp winter air and the festive scenery. As luck would have it, I finally made it to the place I always wanted to be.
First of all, I had to come up with a night off when my wife was working so I could sneak out of the house. Then I had to come up with something to wear. Following not much effort, I came up with a big warm, snuggly sweater, leggings and a pair of boots. I was set!
The village was only a short ten mile drive from our house but as I was getting ready, the anticipation of the upcoming evening was killing me. I spent what seemed hours getting dressed, applying makeup and wig. Finally, my idea of perfection was reached and out the door I went.
Since I had the protection of night, I didn’t have to worry so much about the neighbors for a change plus darkness always helped me to pass the public once I arrived.
Once I did arrive, I found a parking space, gathered myself, took a deep breath and got out of the car. Into the world I went to experience what I was missing all those years. After my initial nerves calmed down I really enjoyed myself. I even gathered my courage to stop into a shop for a cup of hot chocolate. The best part was, no one seemed to pay me any attention at all.
As I finished my beverage, it was time to make my way back to the car and head home. I had to be there in plenty of time to take off all my clothes and make up before my wife finished her work.
As disappointed as I was that the evening was over, the fact I had actually been able to live an authentic life in a feminine world as a transgender woman was exciting.
Christmas turned out to be a bit more festive that year.