Voicing Your Gender

Most transgender women and men obsess with the problem of outing themselves with their voice. It seems no matter how well we present as our preferred gender, a slip up with our voice can ruin our whole day. 

As with many other aspects of being transgender, there are many avenues coming along to help with our voices. As well as the many voice feminization services featured on line, more than a few hospitals offer voice therapy. In fact, even the Veteran’s Administration does offer voice therapy too. 

There is always the concept of vocal surgery which I have heard has varying levels of success. I have only ever encountered one person who had went through it. To be truthful I wasn’t impressed. 

Myself, I pursued the VA services offered to me with varied results. First of all, I was pleasantly surprised they were knowledgeable to what I was trying to achieve. I blame myself though for the results. Being essentially the lazy person I am, I gave up and have tried to improve my feminine voice through the very few lessons I ended up going through. 

Over the years, what I have tried to do is try to match my voice to the cis women I am talking to. I imagine with varying levels of success.

The only time I can truly “try” out my feminine voice on strangers is on the phone. Even then, I am not competing on a level field. The majority of my calls come from the Veteran’s Administration setting up appointments and going over results of my tests. Since the overwhelming majority of the hospitals’ clients are male, the odds are stacked against me. Sometimes I still get called sir on occasion, except for the nurses and receptionists who have dealt with me a number of times. The example is my endocrinologist nurse. She is always very correct with her pronouns and calls me the proper ones. 

With all the others who don’t, I always gently remind them I am not a “sir” and go back to the drawing board. What am I doing wrong to trigger their response. Plus, as I said before, I am essentially a lazy person and since I so rarely encounter strangers anymore, it’s only Liz I talk to. 

Finally, the majority of the attendees of my transgender – crossdresser group have managed to settle into a softer version of their male vocal selves. Again with varying success. I suppose too, results hinge on what voice you had to start with. Many times feminine men have feminine voices. 

Voicing their gender becomes increasingly easier. 


  1. That is (and probably always will be)) an issue for me. When out alone, I soften my “volume” and “tone” a bit, and it helps. “A bit.” But that takes concentration. When on the phone, “it’s all over but the cryin'” – unless callers have my given name in front of them and use that to guide their way, it’s pretty much “sir” unless I actively soften my voice, which I typically don’t do at home (for obvious reasons!)

    Unfortunately, there’s no speech therapy in the foreseeable future for this girl.


  2. cyrsti says:

    As I wrote, I think, the gender voice issue presents the biggest hurdle to my transition. While I don’t have to worry about my voice at home, one way or another, shame on me for not working on it more!

  3. Charlie says:

    This is an issue for me. I’m a trans man and while hormones can deepen our voices, I’m not on T yet. I’ve attempted voice training but I simply sound odd.

    I’ve had trans friends who say they simply don’t try to use their voice when on the phone, that they just use their regular one.

    1. cyrsti says:

      Hi Charlie and thanks for following my blog! I am very close to doing what your friends do…use my regular voice. I do try to soften it though and try my best to raise it an octave without sounding fake.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s