I often wonder why I struggle so hard to find subjects to write about in this blog. Perhaps it is because I have been doing it for so long, approximately ten years now.
Then again, so much has changed during my decade of a serious Mtf transition. Early in, I was obsessed with appearance. I felt how I looked more completely validated me as a feminine being. I compare the process with the very early days when I explored my Mom’s clothes and makeup. The attraction was thrilling and very real but wore off quickly. Similarly, as I started to go to the same places as a cross dresser, all of the sudden I was shocked to learn other people viewed me as a real person. If not necessarily a full fledged woman, at the least a transgender woman. Of course, where I lived here in Ohio very few people even had any sort of an idea what a transgender person was. Including me.
Once I learned the basics to fitting into the world, I discovered I had an easier time of presenting a feminine image and fitting in. I was done with the short mini skirts and the clown wigs. Replacing them with fashionable women’s suits and jeans and a much more passable honey blond wig. Possibly, the most important lesson I learned was to dress for other women and blend in. Rather than trying to validate myself with men in clothes which were more trashy than sexy.
Then. by pure accident, I found myself befriended by several lesbians who made me feel better about being an independent transgender woman, not needing a man for validation.
By now, you are probably thinking why this post’s title is what is was. Truthfully, I don’t know except on many days I really don’t have a good idea of what I am going to write about. For example, today I almost lifted an idea from a “Medium Magazine” post on what makes a real woman. For any number of reasons I couldn’t go down that rabbit hole today.
Instead I meandered back deep into my past which partially explains how I got here today. I’m sure I will have more to add later.