Yesterday was my scheduled appointment with my endocrinologist. It was a virtual visit so I didn’t have to drive the 45 minutes to do it, which was nice. It was nice too, to put on a little makeup for the visit. Little did I know such a small action would result in triggering my gender dysphoria for the entire day.
First though, my appointment went well and I received refills on my all important hormone replacement therapy meds…spiro and estradiol. She asked all the relevant questions about body feminization, body hair and blood pressure. Spiro can be known to decrease blood pressure too low and cause a person to be dizzy. It is also used to lower testosterone. Mine is very low (15) so I am considering cutting back on my dosage which hopefully will cut back on the dizziness I feel in the morning. I did have to set up another blood test on my hormone levels for her when I go see the laboratory “vampires” in November to make sure my estrogen level isn’t too high. I figure I will jump off that bridge when I come to it.
As far as the gender dysphoria went, if the truth be known, I probably am somewhere between the best look I think I have and the worst look I try to work through. I know too, appearance is but a small part of what works together to make me a transgender woman.
Which means, the worst part of the whole activity is, it is a total waste of time and I don’t know why I continue to subject myself to it. I can only surmise gender dysphoria will be with me as long as I live and days such as I just went through won’t be the last.