Coming Out…Safely

Another LGBTQ coming out day has come and gone. Surely, it is for those of us who have been out and living a full time transgender life  for years, easy to say just get out of the closet and do it. 

Realistically though, there is so much to consider to do it. There are family and financial considerations to encounter and work your way through. And normally  this is just the beginning of a coming out process. If you are a transgender woman or a trans man, you have to figure out the intricate nature of transforming your physical self the world sees so it syncs up with your inner gender self. Ideally, once you accomplish all of that, your life will become better. For some, many expensive, painful procedures and operations follow just to help accomplish the gender syncing process.

Of course there is another important lesson to learn when you transition into the feminine world. You lose your male privilege. When I first transitioned, I learned the hard way. I lost some of my basic intelligence and that was the easy part. I was lucky in I escaped the physical dangers I encountered when I ignored the fact I wasn’t a guy anymore. I have written before here in Cyrsti’s Condo about the night I was nearly over powered by an over zealous admirer all the way to the night I was caught walking down the the street late at night in a downtown urban environment by two guys wanting money. 

All of this leads me to the most sobering truth of this post. As of now, over thirty transgender women (that we know of) have been killed this year. In the USA alone.

All of the statistics point to the fact when you enter the feminine world, you have to learn quickly what cis women know…be careful out there!    


  1. Your situation with the two guys at night brings back the memory from “more than a few years back.” Though yours had more potential for danger… without a doubt.

    I had long hair, and was wearing a tank top with stirrup pants, purse and white Keds, but no makeup or nail polish, in downtown Baltimore, in broad daylight, with pedestrians around. My wife was back at our hotel. A panhandler came up behind me, and I heard “Ma’am, do you have some dinner money?” Duly ignored, he kept it up: “Ma’am” Then gruffly – “MA’AM!” I stopped. He stopped. I whirled around abruptly, with my hands firmly on my hips. “ENOUGH! NO I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING FOR YOU. NOW GO AWAY!” I stared him down ,and he disappeared…much to my surprise. I guess he was just a panhandler, not a crook! (And surprisingly, didn’t hear “Yes Sir.”)

    Each time, response is a judgment call!

    1. cyrsti says:

      Wow! You did better than I did. The two gay guys (obviously) I was in front of a gay bar .And they said “aawh” a tra–y.!

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s