I have always been a “what’s next” person. Every time I accomplished something, I was looking for what was coming up next. It all carried over from my day to day life as a guy, all the way to my life as a cross dresser to novice transgender woman. Once I went out and explored the world from a feminine perspective, I wanted to see how it felt to try it again…and again. Along the way, I considered the possibility the excitement of acting like a girl was what driving me on. The problem with the idea was I found being a girl was all so natural. Sooner more than later I ended up living a full time feminine existence.
Looking back at the process, so much of it just seems to be a blur. While I see all the transgender women around who remember the exact day they threw out what was left of their male clothes, I don’t remember anything other than I did it. In fact, the only way I remember when I started Hormone Replacement Therapy is I began it on a New Years eve. Why? Because I was looking ahead to what was next. When would all the changes start.
Now being quarantined has severely limited what is next. Unless I can talk Liz into going out for our anniversary dinner (nine years) soon. I just don’t see much “what’s next” in my future.
The bigger problem is my age. In a month or so I will be 71, so sooner more than later, I will be running out of next’s.