When we are young novice cross dressers and/or transgender women, the power of the clothes and makeup is nearly everything we experience. For some of us the allure of the clothes began to fade early. I began to want to be the girl, not just look like one.
I think the recent quarantine has heightened the differences in those who have to cross dress to reestablish who they are gender wise. If you use me for example, I always know who I am gender wise and would have to go out and buy men’s clothing if I even wanted to try to express any of what is left of my male self. I am making up for all the years when I questioned my gender continually.
So, while I don’t need the dresses, hose and heels to feel feminine, it is certainly fun on occasion to get dressed up like I did Saturday night when we went out to eat for the first time in nearly three months. Nothing wrong with any of that since all women get a chance to feel the same way during their lives too. It’s part of the fun of a being a girl.
With my HRT induced body changes, I have found I have made it easier to find “fun” outfits in my wardrobe. If the stars and everything else align, I may even get my favorite summer “boho” outfit past Liz and get to wear it to a lesbian bar in the area. The outfit consists of a spaghetti strap tank top and my well frayed jeans I roll up to mid calf. I wear the whole thing with sandals of even flip flops. I love the feel of the top I wear with no bra…if Liz approves it. Once again I am experiencing extra fullness in my breasts with the increased dosage I am on and I can’t forget my hair which is growing rapidly again.
The problem is the two lesbian bars we could go to are across the Ohio River in Kentucky which is just re-opening on a limited basis and Pride has been moved back until October. I love me some lesbians and hope it happens! In the meantime the reality of the dress (or the fantasy) may just have to wait.