Depression

It’s a good thing I had Liz around to talk to yesterday. For some reason, I began to feel the walls close in from our forced quarantine from the world. Along the way too, I have begun to think of what we are going to do as the world begins to open back up. Since summer has finally arrived, I was able to pull out one of my favorite outfits I barely remembered I had. Essentially it’s a sleeveless tank top with a satin bow which keeps it fitted together so it can be worn in public. I paired it with a pair of lose fitting culottes.

Even the outfit couldn’t get me out of my depression. I even fantasized about wearing my semi revealing summer outfit to one of our local lesbian bars. 


Reality soon set in and it was back to thinking ahead to the week ahead after Memorial Day. The only exiting happenings revolve around our cars. I need to take our newer car into the mechanic for an oil change. The older car is much more of a challenge. It has been sitting for quite a while now and needs a new battery (I hope). Assuming we can get the hood open, we have a portable battery jumper we can try out. How’s that for excitement? 


Since I am bi-polar, I am used to bouts of depression and how to handle them. Since I have waited this long for things to open back up, it looks like I still have a ways to go to at least get out and about…just a little. 
In the meantime. it seems like at the least boredom is my way of life.   

2 Comments

  1. I can relate to both the outfits and old car issues.

    I’ve resigned myself to the fact that Mandy is pretty much done for the summer, if not the rest of the year. Things we (and I – solo) had been planning are off the to-do list for a while. We may not even be able to visit our son and family in TN this summer, perhaps not even this fall. 😦 The virus is in charge of that… My wife’s annual visit to her sister this summer is DOA. My train trip is DOA – can’t afford to be halfway across the country if I end up with the virus. And on goes the list of cancellations.

    The old car made a trip to the garage not long after the first of the year, and since getting it back, I put a couple miles on it in a trip around town to give it some exercise. Nothing else car-related is on the books at this point. Won’t even need an oil change if that’s all the driving I do the rest of the summer!

    The fact that I’m often mistaken for female due to my hair, nails, androgynous outfits and so on certainly helps ease the pain of Mandy having to stay in the suitcase for now. But I sure am looking forward to being able to dress up and go out when this is over.!

    Hang in there, girl. You’re not alone, by any means…

    Mandy

  2. Thanks! Dealing with certain bouts of depression is something I have learned to deal with over the years. Fortunately, it has nothing to do with my gender dysphoria!

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