I have been spending quite a bit of my time these days working on my new book. Yesterday, I spent my Sunday afternoon working on a chapter about restroom manners and the average transgender woman. Fortunately, over the years I believe times have changed as far as the simple act of using the women’s restroom. Unfortunately, we still hear on occasion, times when trans women have been harassed or even worse injured attempting to use a women’s room.
The basic problem still exists, many continue to struggle to present properly as a feminine woman. It is so difficult to fight years of testosterone poisoning. It is similar to so many other aspects of being a trans woman (or a cross dresser). We simply don’t have the upbringing cis girls and women are able to take advantage of. We have to catch up quickly and even be better just to survive in the world.
In order to get to a rest room survival place, it is essential to develop and follow a common sense approach to your “Girl Code”. One of the most basic rules is to always sit down to pee. I mention this because years ago I encountered a couple cross dressers who didn’t. When I first started to use the women’s bathroom, I even listened closely to mimic as close as I could my flow into the bowl similar to the women next to me in a stall. Another point is to always check to see if you have enough toilet paper for you to use and to help out another woman in the next stall who needs it. I even carried a feminine hygiene product in my purse in case I was challenged by another woman who just wanted to find out what I would say.
Another a couple of small hints are, make sure you use a stall which locks and if at all possible has a hook to hang your purse from so you don’t have to sit it on a potentially nasty floor. Speaking of nasty always check the toilet seat before you sit down!
On several other levels, learn to be efficient. Always wash your hands, adjust your hair and makeup and keep moving. It is always possible you could be waiting in line for your turn, so depending on the other women, you may be required to acknowledge them with a knowing smile, If you are afraid of outing yourself with your voice, use your cell phone as a prop. Similar to so many people these days, you won’t have to communicate with anyone and you will discover most other women won’t notice you either.
Finally, if you run into any problems, ask to speak to the management. Unless you live in a very rural redneck region, more companies are coming around to supporting the transgender part of the LGBT population. And, the way it is looking, when/if the world ever returns to a new normal. Companies may need your business more than ever.
It’s been years since I have had any restroom problems but decades ago I was kicked out of one venue and had the police called on me in another. I still carry the scars with me and seek out an unisex bathroom where ever I can. After all if I wait too long, the results could be ugly!