Over the past decades I have learned the hard way there is no easy way for most of us to feminize ourselves and face the public. I can’t tell you how many times I was brought to tears by people snickering at me.
What happened though was I developed a thick skin while I learned to take better care of my own. Also ironically the more harassment I received, the more determined I became to present better in public as a woman. The more I progressed, the more natural I felt and over an extended period of two things happened. Probably the most important was gaining all an important confidence. More and more any resistance to me from the public was their problem, not mine.
Equally as important and a factor which took me years to research was how far reaching my possible transgender leanings went. All of a sudden, I decided to throw my easy cross dressing trips shopping out the window. Even I learned clerks in stores didn’t care who I was compared to how green my money was and easy trips to quiet book stores didn’t really challenge by goal to be more feminine.
Finally I decided I had to take steps to establish myself as more than the occasional cross dresser if I was ever to explore if I could ever live full time as a transgender woman.
Here was my method as I have written about before here in Cyrsti’s Condo. First I had to try to take a realistic look at what I wanted to accomplish. Little did I know how quickly I could establish myself after I quit doing dumb things like basically changing my name to match new wigs and going to gay bars looking for acceptance. An example was when I dressed to match all the other single professional women that first night when I slid into an upscale bar stool at a Fridays outside of a close by busy mall. Make no mistake, I was scared to death! I still remember what I wore and each and every emotion like it was yesterday. Basically I wore a black pants suit with flats. With my restaurant/bar experience, I knew once I made it past the hostess stand with no problems all I had to worry about was finding a seat at the bar.
To make a long story short, I ended up becoming a semi regular at the venue and was treated well over the years.
Of course others have different yet similar experiences. Let’s check in with Connie:
“I must say that this is certainly the time for 2020 hindsight! 🙂
There’s so much more for a trans woman to change than just her clothes. If only it were that simple for most of us. When one becomes uncomfortable with what had once been her comfort level, pushing a few limits is then necessary. Although there are copious amounts of information and anecdotal stories that are readily available, we all must subject ourselves to some personal trial and error, if we expect any change. Learning to laugh at one’s own mistakes, and to celebrate the successes, is a change for the better.”
So true! Thanks!