As I went back and read the “Double Edged Sword” post, I decided on a couple other thoughts I didn’t mention.
Looking back at the decade which is all but over, I realized the enormity of what I was able to accomplish.
Of course the trip across the gender frontier wasn’t all fun and games and I wonder if I would have made it at all without the help I received.
As I moved forward into the feminine world, I learned very quickly three lessons as my male privilege disappeared. One of which was my perception of how women treated other women changed. It didn’t take me long to realize smiling faces sometimes held knives just waiting to be stabbed into my back. Passive aggression was often as harmful as a man’s frontal assault.
Another big lesson came in the communication department. It seemed the better I became in my feminine presentation, the lower my IQ became. The first time happened when my car broke down and I had to call a tow truck. The whole scene was “helped” along when a well meaning sheriff showed up to help. To make a long story short, it turned out both of them had a better idea of how to get my car back to my house than I did. On the way home I finally just relegated myself to “dumb blond” status, as I was back in those days and started asking stupid questions about how the tow truck worked.
Even after that, I was a slow learner. Somehow, someway I would get myself into conversations with men in the sports bars I went into. I found out again and again how little I all of the sudden I knew.
Being invisible in a crowd became a reality too. One time several cis women servers from a place I frequented quite a bit invited me on a “girls night out” with them. I was flattered and went along. Soon I found out how the most attractive of the crew received all the attention. I figured beggars shouldn’t be choosers though and relaxed to enjoy the gender banter.
Perhaps the most important lesson came in how I viewed my personal security. I was fortunate. One late night on the downtown streets of Dayton, Ohio I was semi accosted by two men looking for money. I got away with only giving them five dollars. From then on, I learned to check out my surroundings and always walked with a friend anytime I could. In fact one night when I went back to the same area (which contained several gay bars) my wonderful trans guy friend was nice enough to walk me to my car.
As I wrote in my last post, it was quite the decade. I wouldn’t wish being transgender on my worst enemy. On the other hand, crossing the gender divide was at times a scary experience and at others a terrifically exhilarating one.
Tomorrow, on my New Years Day post I will follow Stana’s lead from Femulate and show you a before and after comparison.